Ashley Amazing

First Impressions Of Nursing School.

2012-01-17T00:51:00.002-06:00

This is longer than anticipated, I apologize in advance. Watch some, watch all ... your choice.

xoxo

Also Mother, I dropped the f-bomb. Sorry about that :)

And yes, I'm aware I pronounce the word 'for' as fur and not four. That's the southern gal in me :)

Study Break!

2012-01-12T21:49:00.001-06:00

This kid is making it hard to study ...

I promise to update you on my first nursing school weekend experience soon!
And Diesel sends his love!

Yeah, It's 2012.

2012-01-05T21:27:00.001-06:00

Yeah, it's been awhile. You know the routine, "Yadda yadda ... sorry, I may be back ... yadda yadda."

I'm so glad that it's 2012! So many great things are happening this year, but I wanted to recap my fabulous year of 2011 first.

January
-We moved from the horrids of Louisiana to New York
-I got to see my beautiful friend Stacy again after a long 3 years!

February
- The husband and I went to our first military ball since September 2005
- The little one turned 3
- We went to Chicago (where I informed my husband we're moving to after his stint in the Army is over).

March
- I turned 25
-I got double pink-eye, a sinus infection, and a mild case of the flu a few days before my husband left for war. NOT A GOOD MONTH.

April - mid-June - Stayed busy with friends and found a new church home.

Late June - Drove 16 hours from New York to Tennessee, continuously with the kidlet and the dog to spend the summer with my mom and brother.

July
- Spent the month fixing my house up from the mess my renters left it (ripping out carpets, repainting the entire house twice because they smoked, taming the lawn, and tiling the kitchen)
- Flew out to Arizona to see my bestest friend Sarah and surprised her with bringing Kelsey
- Flew to San Diego a few days later to see my aunt and cousins that I haven't seen in 6 years
- Closed on the sell of our first home
- Celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary with my mom by my side

August
- Saw my dad for a few hours
- Drove from Tennessee to Michigan to spend a week with my in-laws
- Headed home from Michigan back to New York (12-hr drive continuously)
- Started back to school at the end of the month.

September - early December
- Somehow managed to juggle 8 classes and earn a 3.93 for the semester
- Found my place in my church that I could be of service
- Grew closer to my New York friends
- Put in my application, was interviewed and accepted into the graduating Nursing class of 2013
- The husband turned 29.
- Survived until December 12th.

December 12th - After 9 VERY LONG months, my husband came home for R&R. Though I just started the process of finals and I was sick, it was the best two weeks of the year :) Of course, the day he left it snowed, a lot, and I had to buck up and get back into the rhythm of doing everything myself.

All-in-all, 2011 was a very productive and busy year. Aside from my husband being gone for 3/4ths of it, it's been a good year. Now, it's 2012 and I start Nursing school TOMORROW, making me incredibly nervous and slightly nauseated with finally being where I want to be in life. I had initially planned to do a little video, but I'll wait until either tomorrow or Monday, when classes are over. <3

Yeah, What?

2012-01-05T12:26:00.002-06:00

I updated the look of my blog and should have an actual post for tonight.

You're welcome. (Read : This is directed at you, mother.)

xoxo

Forgiveness.

2011-09-14T19:55:00.000-05:00

Forgiveness.

Tonight we started a bible study at my church for military wives and the wonderful, sweet, and kind lady that is leading us through this study said that her and her husband prayed about a word to describe their deployment. Something that they felt that God wanted them to focus on. I think my word is 'forgiveness' as it's something I have a very hard time doing for others and myself.

A lot of times, I harp on myself for past mistakes. Things that I made very poor choices in. I also find a very hard time to let people back in after they've wounded me in a certain way or forgiveness for them being human. Forgiveness is not something that comes easily for me. Even the smallest things, sometimes I cannot overlook them. I know this is a true fault of mine; a real weakness to my character.

For a very, very long time I have let my walk with God take a backseat to my life that I'm living. Since opening myself back up to a relationship with Him, I have found that things are starting to fall back into place. Things make sense again and instead of feeling overwhelmed when the world comes crumbling down, I look inward and I rely on my relationship with Him to pull me through what it is that is overwhelming me. It's sad to say that it truly took my world crashing down on me to realize that, as it should not take that to make right with God and your path that you're walking with Him in your life.

I'm rambling. I just needed to get these words out of my head.
Also, I'm not sure I'm back-back, something that I know my mom would love, but maybe I am.

Weighted Saturday.

2011-04-30T10:18:00.001-05:00

So, it's been a minute since I've checked in with my weight loss progress, so I thought I would update anyone that's curious as to where I'm at.

Last week I hit a pretty big milestone - entering the 140s! I haven't been in the 140s since the Christmas of 2008, in which I promptly returned to the 150s and settled until October 2009 when my parents announced their separation and divorce. This began my past weight gain. If you want more info you can check out my initial blog on losing weight here.

A few things have changed this last month when it comes to my workout plan and what I'm doing to lose weight in a healthy manner, instead of a quick fix "diet".

Firstly, I started using the gym on post. I had thought this wouldn't work for our family, but they offer childcare in the mornings, and would you know working out in the mornings and getting it out of my way really makes my day better? Yeah, go figure. Anyhow, with the fact that they give you free childcare hours while your husband is deployed and also the fact that they offer some pretty good classes, I'm taking advantage of the opportunity. So far, I'm in love with spin class and the instructor. I'm 80% positive that she's German and when she counts, I hear Arnold in my head, "I'm going to pump YOU up!" Yes, I know he's not German, but the accent is relatively close.

I'm going to try out the Zumba class that's offered there as well.

Next up, I changed my diet up for the most part. I switched from eating a diet that was heavily based in processed foods, fast foods, and carbs to that of the Paleo diet. A diet based on natural foods : lean meats, seafood, seasonal vegetables and fruits minus the grains, diary, and processed foods. This came as a shock to my family, as they know I'm never without my staple piece of bread or pasta during most meals. Let's take a moment. Also, I may have overdone it last night on the apple crisp that I made for my girlfriends and I while we watched the royal wedding and drank wine. Damn wine, I always get the munchies when I drink it!

Just a day after switching to paleo, I already felt better. Two days after and I lost that 5 months pregnant bloat I've been carrying around for a while. All in all, I feel great. Go figure removing processed and fast foods from my diet would make me feel this way. But with last night's overdoing it on the apple crisp (hello : buttah! sugar! grains!), I'm definitely feeling it this morning. I feel sluggish and groggy. Lesson learned.

So, for the weigh in!

Last time I weighed :

150.6 lbs on April 3rd

Today's weight, April 30th :

145.6!

That would be a loss of -5.0lbs since my last weigh in, with another 5.6 pounds to go. The final stretch.

I must give credit to acknowledging the beautiful Lauren Rock who introduced me to the Paleo Diet. She's such a motivation and I was blessed to have spent time with her in Tennessee getting to know her a bit. She's a daily inspiration to get up, brush yourself off and go!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #39!

2011-04-29T12:40:00.002-05:00

It's FRIDAY! That means MilSpouse Friday Fill-in time :) Jump in and join the fun!

Hosted by Wife of a Sailor

1. Have you and your spouse agreed to live in separate locations (a geographical bachelor tour) knowing that the short-term inconvenience would have long-term benefits for your family? How did it work?

-We considered doing this when we thought there was a good possibility of us going to a duty station worse than where we were in Louisiana, because we knew wherever we went, my husband would be deploying within 6 months of us getting there. I had just started school and I knew I was in the top of the applying class for nursing school, but when we found out our actual location, I threw that to hell. I had a great friend up here and I wanted to be with him. Granted, it's taking me a lot longer to get my degree, but being together as a family is important to me.

2. What is your favorite thing about being a MilSpouse?

-I would have to say the pride of knowing what my husband does and the sacrifices that we make because of it. The sacrifices are by no means easy, but knowing that my husband is one of those 1% of men and women that protect the remaining 99% of Americans makes me extremely proud.

3. If you could still have your spouse and your family, but take the military life out of it ... would you?

-This is the only life I have ever known, as I was born into a military family. I have no idea or real concept of what "civilian" life is like. However, we have had the option to leave this military life behind and we chose not to. I guess that's the answer, no.

4. What have your homecoming experiences been like after a year long tour of separation?

-At our first duty station, we got to watch the plane land on the airfield and walk over to put their gear down, officials then usher us back into the hanger, and the band starts playing, the doors open and our Soldiers walk in. I tell you, that moment is one of the greatest moments that I could never fully explain without doing it the justice that the moment deserves. You're on the verge of tears with joy, relief and pride and you're only minutes away from touching them and kissing them without the fear that they're leaving any time soon. I would honestly put it on the same level of the moment I first held my son in my eyes and saw him.

Our first kiss at the end of our first deployment together, his second.

Our first kiss at the end of our second deployment together, his third.

5. Why did you chose your child's name?

-On our second date, my husband told me if he ever had a boy, he would be giving him the family name. So, when I was 23 weeks pregnant and we found out we were having a boy, I already knew his name. Hell, I knew what his name was going to be the moment we found out we were pregnant and should we end up having a boy. It made it so easy.

100 Facts About Me, Part Deuce.

2011-04-18T21:49:00.003-05:00

You can find the first 25 facts about me here.

26. One of things I love most about my bedroom is a made bed. My favorite sheets happen to be white and I love pairing them with a green duvet turned down. My husband picked the perfect bed set to compliment these.

27. I wash and change my sheets every Sunday afternoon/night, because Mondays are sucky enough, so why not wake up to amazing smelling sheets?

28. Moving to New York meant I got a walk-in closet again. I promptly arranged my closet by colors, and then in each section it goes short-sleeve, 3/4-length, and then long-sleeve. I love it.

29. The clothing colors that I buy the most of are : whites, greens, purples, and grays. I have a lot of each, but more whites than anything else.

30. My favorite pair of heels in my closet are these red, peep-toe heels. I have only worn them twice. Once to pick my husband up for R&R in 2008 and at the ball we went to in February 2011. I wish I had more opportunities to wear them.

31. I love vacuum lines in my carpet. That's probably while I vacuum every other day.

32. My favorite thing in my kitchen is my upgraded George Foreman grill that my mom got me for Christmas.

33. My second favorite things in my kitchen are all my cow ornaments. I have a lot. Possibly 7 things, if not more.

34. My favorite move is Sixteen Candles. Whenever I'm having a particularly funky day, I watch this movie. I know all the lines to it.

35. When my husband is deployed, I eat sloppy joes at least two nights out of the week on toasted buns of course.

36. I could eat steamed broccoli every night but I dare not eat it raw, as it gives me horrible heart burn.

37. Although I enjoy a good gripe, I cannot, CANNOT stand people are constantly negative and mopey. Or people that always rain (piss) on others' parades. Get over yourself and take your glass half-empty attitude elsewhere.

38. One of my most favorite memories comes from my husband's first deployment, when my bestie Sarah and I were messing with the Oujia board at 2 or so in the morning and it kept spelling out 'f--k you' when all of a sudden my husband buzzed me on Yahoo messenger and Sarah and I literally grabbed onto each other and just screamed. It was epic and still makes me laugh.

39. I love movies. My most favorite job ever was working at a movie theater. I liked nights that I didn't have to do anything the next day. I'd save some popcorn (I like stale popcorn!) and after we were closed, I'd go start my own movie and enjoy watching it quietly by myself.

40. I met my husband at that theater job over 7 years ago. I still remember the look on his face as I reached over the counter and fixed the clasp on his necklace. He was hooked from that moment on.

41. When I first met my husband, I was only 17 and a senior in high school BUT I told him I was in college. I never thought he would actually call me or come back several times to see me that week while at work before our first date. But he did and soon enough, I confessed that I had lied, however he was hooked enough that he didn't care.

42. Riding around in my husband's truck nowadays reminds me of our heydays of dating. I always love when we go for a date night in his truck rather than taking the mommy mobile. Sometimes I even slide over and sit next to him.

43. Speaking of riding around in the car with my husband, we still hold hands when he drives or at least drive with either my hand or his hand resting on each other's thigh. Love that.

44. I LOVE the look of old, classic houses HOWEVER I've watched enough Paranormal State to never, ever want to buy one.

45. Of all the stuff animals I've had in my life, I still have the one my brother handed down to me when I was seven. When we moved from Hawaii to our house in North Carolina, I would have terrible nightmares, so my brother gave me his bear. Eighteen years later, I still have that bear and passed it on to my son in 2008.

46. My favorite restaurant meal is honey-chiptole chicken crispers, corn on the cob with loaded mashed taters from Chili's. I crave it. Thankfully I no longer live less than a 15-minute drive to a nearby Chili's.

47. I traded my diamond earrings in for pearls for my birthday this year and I love them. Probably my second favorite piece of jewelry, ever.

48. In 3rd grade, we started attending a local baptist church in North Carolina. My dad presented me with a gold cross that I still have, 16 years later.

49. Red hotdogs remind me of North Carolina and they also scare me just a bit.

50. I've broken one bone in my body, my calcaneus, also known as your heel bone the summer before 5th grade when our family dog pulled me from the top of our concrete front stairs to the concrete walk-way, three steps below, while not wearing shoes. I'll always remember what my mom said to me while we were waiting for the x-rays to come back while sitting in the ER, "If your foot isn't broken, I'm going to take your out in the parking lot and run it over." Yeah, she was less than pleased to be sitting in the ER all night.

Book Ratings.

2011-04-17T19:55:00.000-05:00

I'm currently out to read 52 books and decided to blog about my feelings on each book and rate them 1 to 5; 1 being blah and 5 being definitely worth picking up a copy and reading. Feel free to recommend books in the comments! I'm always looking for a good read :)

1. Second Glance by Jodi Picoult - 3 out of 5
2. Promises To Keep by Jane Green - 4 out of 5
3. Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin - 3.5 out of 5
4. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - 4 out of 5

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #37!

2011-04-15T09:03:00.000-05:00

Please don't mind the mess. Apparently Photobucket still doesn't have their crap together and since I made most my stuff for my blog on another computer that no longer works, I cannot reupload my images until Photobucket gets their crap together. As you might be able to tell, I'm annoyed about it. So, please don't mind the chaos that my blog currently resembles.

ANYHOO - It's Friday and time for another MilSpouse Friday Fill-in!

link up at Wife of a Sailor

1. With PCS moves happening every few years, do you take the time to paint and decorate your home? submitted by Life as Mrs. JPT
--The first two places we lived in, I did not. The third place, we bought and I actually put time into painting it and hanging things on the wall, but I would not have called it overly decorated. The fourth place we lived in was in Louisiana, I hated it because we went from living in a house to back to apartment living. I had pictures and a few homey things on the wall, but I had no desire to really put much into that space. Now that we're in New York and I LOVE my house, I'm definitely going to be putting time and effort into decorating this place. I have certain decorating ideas in my mind, like paint colors that they will hopefully like and tell me I do not have to repaint over, things to put on the walls, etc. I have yet to really hang anything up in this house nor buy anything yet because I have plans to sell my other house and want to pinch every penny that may be required for repairs and renovations.

2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? submitted by Standing By Him
I loved the house on 7th Heaven.

3. What inspired you to start your blog? submitted by Pink Combat Boots
I had a few friends that were blogging and after reading their's for a couple of months, I decided to make my own.

4. What is the weirdest thing you've ever seen on base? submitted by Adventures in Life
I'm not sure many people will find this 'weird' but it's something I don't understand. And maybe this answer will make me sound like a prude, but why is when the weather starts to get warmer, you get women walking around in shorts that basically their butts are falling out of or tops that do not cover much of anything? I get that the weather is warm and it allows us to wear shorts and the what nots, but what the deal with going ... for lack of a better word ... slutty? I don't get it. You can cover up and still get people to notice you, if that's what you're going after - the attention. It grosses me out and I may or may not make faces that I don't try to hide. And I know this isn't strictly related to women on base, but in general, in public during the warmer months.

5. Which historical figure (politician, writer, artist, scientist, actor, etc...) would you like to have dinner with? submitted by Army of Two
No one is coming to mind, really. While I find some people fascinating, I don't think I'd ever want to just sit down and have dinner with them. That would be ... awkward. And while I live for awkward situations, it doesn't sound compelling enough for me.

100 Facts About Me, Part Uno.

2011-04-04T07:00:00.005-05:00

Yeah, yeah - I'm jumping on board this train that has already left the station. For new followers, here's a chance to get to know me a little bit better. Here are the first 25 facts about me.

1. I have an unreal addiction to Facebook and Twitter. I always feel out of the loop if I'm off Twitter for too long. Also, a lot of my conversations with people happen via Twitter or Facebook, family included.

2. I seriously have an abnormal phobia of talking on the phone. It freaks me out. I have this overwhelming feeling that I'll have vomit of the mouth and sound like an idiot. Even ordering a pizza freaks me out. This is why most of my conversations happen via Twitter or Facebook.

3. I've made some of the best friends via social groups that started on the internet.

4. I never was that girl in high school that had a best friend. I felt that, while I loved my friends, no one "got me". This lead to a lot of friends, but never one that I put 100% of myself into.

5. I met my first best friend, Sarah, in late-2006 while our husbands were stationed at Fort Campbell do to a Myspace group. I feel we're kindred spirits and I cannot imagine my life, now or in the future, without her. She has always been someone that I know I could turn to without fear of judgment, questions, or criticism. I know that she loves me and gets me 100 percent!

6. I'm addicted to ABC Family shows : Secret Life of an American Teenager, Stick It, Pretty Little Liars, and Greek (which is now over, boo!).

7. I also have an unreal addiction for trashy reality shows : Real Housewives of Orange County/New York/New Jersey, Bad Girls Club, 16 & Pregnant, Teen Mom 1 & 2, and Jersey Shore.

8. Having a DVR makes watching all these shows possible. And is the reason I look forward to my kid going to bed every night at 7p :)

9. My favorite food, that I could eat every day of the week (and I've been known to in previous deployments), is pizza. I love pizza. The best pizza I have ever had in my life is in Clarksville, Tennessee at Michael's Pizza. The sauce is paired perfectly with a sweet crust. Every time I visit my family, I eat there for 25-40% of my meals. My favorite combo is pepperoni and sausage. I highly suggest if you get stationed at Fort Campbell, or live in Clarksville already, that you try them.

10. I was born in the South and lived and visited different states for approximately 22 years of my 25 years of life, but I cannot express to you how much visiting somewhere up north makes me feel at home. A serious peacefulness happens, and while New York may get a lot of snow, I couldn't be happier about our move from Louisiana.

11. About 6 or 7 months ago, I told my husband I felt a pull to Chicago, so before he deployed, we took a family trip for Babe's 3rd birthday and my 25th birthday.

12. I cannot tell you how much I fell in love with the possibility of city life. I wanted it all. From riding the public transit system, to walking at the Chicagoan pace, the fact that there is a Walgreens, Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks on just about every corner. I'm currently working on my husband to move there for two or so years after he retires and our kid is out of school. So far, he's on board! Otherwise, I'm going to commute, damnit!

13. I hate how big my boobs are. I feel frustrated that my bras cost more and that I usually have to wait until I go to visit my mom to shop at a store that actually carries my size. I hate trying to find a swimsuit that covers all of my boobs and not just my nipples and is still supportive without giving me a uni-boob. I have seriously, seriously considered breast reduction surgery for these reasons, along with the back pain that I feel BUT I don't want to deal with the scars - so, I just deal.

14. My parents were married for 25&1/2 years and then they divorced. It's something that has deeply impacted my adult life and it's something that I still deal with - a year & half later. I used to feel so smug knowing that my parents were still together and I wasn't another statistic in the 'divorced parents' category.

15. The two very best things that came out of my parents' divorce was the re-examination of what I was doing in my own marriage to hinder it instead of letting it grow and a closeness unlike any other that I've never experienced with my mother and siblings.

16. My dad remarried in November 2010 and essentially has a brand new life with his new wife and her son, who is approximately 15 years younger than me. He seems happy, and while that makes me happy for him, it also makes me extremely sad. Especially when I go "home" to visit family and he's not there.

17. Not dealing with issues stated in #14 and 16, I gained 22 pounds in a very short matter of time. I have since lost 21.4 of those pounds and am working on an additional 10.6!

18. I love all types of music. Some of my favorite artists/bands are : Matchbox Twenty, Breaking Benjamin, Garth Brooks, Miranda Lambert, Shinedown, Lady Antebellum, Eminem, Mumford & Sons, Red Hot Chile Peppers, Taylor Swift, Three Days Grace, Third Day, and Taylor Swift.

19. My absolute favorite of all those is Garth Brooks.

20. I don't have a favorite actress or actor, but I have a serious love for Sandra Bullock, Bruce Willis, Tom Hanks, and Meg Ryan movies.

21. A little under 7&1/2 years ago, all I knew about football was that there was a quarterback. Now, I can pretty much name most positions, calls, and I get super pumped come the end of August, beginning of September.

22. Seven and half years ago, my husband introduced to University of Michigan and their football program, and now I'm a diehard fan. I hope to one day to attend school there, either for my BSN or MSN and proudly rock the 'alumni' license plate.

23. It takes me forever, and I do mean forever, to fall asleep. The room has to be absolutely pitch dark (now I wear a sleeping mask) and quiet. Since my dog snores and keeps me from sleeping, I recently kicked him out and make him go downstairs and sleep. This has helped me fall asleep faster and stay asleep. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Diesel is also happy to not get woken up by me throwing a pillow at him while sleeping too. I guess it's a win-win situation.

24. This year, I'm really concentrating on my patience and temper. I have a short temper and a low level of tolerance (aka, I stress), two very undesirable traits that I cannot stand about myself but have inherited. I don't want my kid to remember me as a mom that yelled or a mom that wasn't fun because she got stressed out way too easily. I pray about these two things more than anything else.

25. I love to read and it's something that I hope I instill in our son, as my husband is not a huge reader. My favorite authors are Jane Green and Jodi Picoult and I LOVE finding a book that I haven't read by them at the library. Also, I love to check out books which is probably a reason why I more than likely will never own an e-book reader. Plus, library = free books!

Weighted Sunday.

2011-04-03T13:04:00.005-05:00

I'm not sure how many times I've started blogging about wanting to lose weight, so after I publish this post, I'll go back and count. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking roughly three or four times. Anyhow, I'm starting a new one. That's right!

Last year I dealt with a lot of emotional issues that caused me to gain some serious weight - 22lbs to be exact - from late 2009 to early 2010. I sat with that weight until August of 2010 when I got annoyed enough with the number on the scale and with avoiding the emotional baggage I had definitely carried in from 2009, so I decided to do something about it and I did. I lost 20lbs from August of 2010 to the end of November 2010! And that's where I've been sitting since. My weight loss was placed on a back burner when getting ready for finals, moving, the holidays, more moving and then the upcoming deployment. I fluctuated between two and four pounds for the past five months.

This past week's workouts :
Sunday, March 27th : None
Monday, March 28th : 30 minutes of P90X Core Synergistics
Tuesday, March 29th : W1D1 of C25k
Wednesday, March 30th : P90X CardioX
Thursday, March 31st : None
Friday, April 1st : None
Saturday, April 2nd : W1D2 of C25k, P90X KenpoX

Favorite workout thus far : KenpoX! I loved it! It's more along the lines of shadow boxing and I found that I highly enjoyed it!

So, here's my weekly weigh-in with pictures!

Weight on March 27th :

152.8lbs

Weight on April 3rd :

150.6lbs

First week and I'm down -2.2lbs :)

Just in case you're trying to add up numbers :

January 1st, 2010 : 172lbs

December 1st : 152lbs

January 1st, 2011 : 154

February 1st : 153

March 1st : 152

March 27th : 152.8

April 3rd : 150.6

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #36!

2011-04-01T07:30:00.000-05:00

I love these writing prompts from Wife of a Sailor on Fridays. Go check it out and link up fellow military spouses/significant others!

1. What romance movie scene reminds you of your s/o or spouse and the LOVE you share? submitted by Simply Sunshine and Daisy's
To be honest, I don't think I've ever compared my relationship to a scene from a movie but if I had to really think about I would say at approximately the 1:50 mark of this video would be us.

It's our song (Garth Brooks "To Make You Feel My Love") and we dance a lot. My husband isn't an over the top romantic guy nor is he the greatest about expressing how he feels, but he tries and he tries. The one thing that he does to tell me he loves me, that he knows I've had a long/hard day, that he's always here for me and that he's my best friend is by coming to me and asking me to dance. Even with no music playing, we'll dance slowly around in the living room, kitchen, bedroom or even in the middle of my mom's living room during Thanksgiving in front of everyone. For a minute as we sway back and forth and I hold on to him tightly, breathing him in, I seem to forget about everything other than where we are, in that moment - there's nothing better. That's us.

2. If you were allowed to deploy with your husband to a war zone, would you and why? submitted by I & J
No, I would not deploy with him. I have a few friends that are dual military and aside from doing their job, they say that they worry a lot on the battlefield about their loved one. It doesn't just get easier because you're with them or have them close by, it may actually be harder. With me being home, my husband knows that I'm living in a land with all of life's amenities at my fingertips, I have family that could come and be with me if I ever needed anything and that for the most part, I'm safe. And even if I wanted to go with him, I'm not sure he would approve because I'm a big sensitive baby under my front, as well as someone that gets super stressed easily. I'm not sure that would make a good candidate for a deployment.

3. Have you ever done anything (intentionally or unintentionally) to embarrass your spouse/significant other in front of his military cohorts? submitted by Marrying the Navy
I remember the first time I busted out my husband's first name in front of his Joes that had no clue what his name was beyond his rank and initial of his last name (they usually shorten our last name to a letter, like Sgt J ... you get the idea). It went dead quiet and he gave me the "look" and I knew I had said something I shouldn't have. But for the most part, I do enough embarrassing to myself for the both of us.

Another one worth mentioning is in the pre-kidlet days when my bestie, Sarah, and I would get tipsy and our husbands were around (they didn't work together) and we would bust funny and embarrassing stories on them. They used to get so mad at us for telling their stories out loud to each other. Of course, we found their embarrassing stories hilarious! Ah, so many good memories with the two of them!

4. What is your most irrational fear? submitted by Eights on the Move
My most irrational fear used to be trains, but after riding several on our trip to and from Chicago and around Chicago, so I would say I have conquered that. My next one is being on a ship, in the middle of an open ocean.

5. If you could live in one kind of climate for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? submitted by Many Waters
Fall is my absolute favorite, but I hate the rain that fall brings. The same goes for spring. I LOVE spring, but hate the rain. I think my absolute favorite weather has to be when summer creeps into fall. Where you can still wear shorts and flip flops, but you might have to grab a light sweater while sitting outside at night. And there's no humidity. It's my favorite and I could definitely live in weather like that year round. Okay, with the occasional day of rain.

A to Z About Me.

2011-03-27T10:37:00.003-05:00

I love memes. Maybe a little too much. I find that they always come in handy when you have nothing of real substance to blog about. This one is currently going around, so I snagged it from Jessica at Me, Him and The Army.

A : Age : 25

B : Bed Size : Queen

C : Chore you dislike : Dishes, but I do them anyway because I hate a dirty kitchen.

D : Dogs : Diesel Ray. He used to be just Diesel, but since calling him Diesel Ray, it's stuck and my husband made it his official name when we had to register him with post and the town that we live in. Seriously.

E : Essential start to your day : Going to the bathroom.

F : Favorite color : Lilac.

G : Gold or silver : Silver.

H : Height : 5'8"

I : Instruments you play(ed) : I faked played the flute in six grade for approximately 4 months.

J : Job title : It's not what I call a job per say, but they made me put homemaker on my US passport application. I would have preferred professional student but the lady said that was unacceptable.

K : Kids : I have one, and he's 3 and every week, he picks a good day to make a strong case while he'll never have a sibling.

L : Live : Upstate New York, where you need more to get a driver's license than to get in and out of the country.

M : Mom's name : Momma. That's her official name. I've asked her to change her name on Facebook to Momma so I wouldn't have to remember that she has an actual first name. She declined.

N : Nicknames : I have a few, mostly given to me by my husband who loves giving me nicknames. Lucky for me, he rarely remembers them.

O : Overnight hospital stay : Birthing a child.

P : Pet Peeves : Condescending people would have to be my biggest. I mean, I cannot wait until I get older and have all the experience in the world that I then can look down my nose at the little people.

Q : Quote from a movie : "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!" I say this a lot, because I am the baby and I sit in the corner a lot.

R : Righty or lefty : Righty, but I practice my left-hand writing often just in case my right hand loses function and because I want to be a lefty.

S : Siblings : Four, but I haven't come to terms with that because it feels weird to say. My mom birthed my three eldest siblings and my dad remarried in November and gave me a younger stepbrother.

T : Time you wake up : When Darth Vader starts shouting over the baby monitor at approximately 8:00 each day.

U : Underwear : Victoria's Secret.

V : Vegetables you don't like : In my adult years, I have continually tried and liked most vegetables that I turned my nose up at when I was little. However, still not a fan of artichokes or okra.

W : What makes you run late : Life. I try not to be late and am generally am not, but here lately, I can't find motivation in my mornings.

X : X-rays you've had : Lots. Dentist, broken bones, physical therapy ...

Y : Yummy food you make : Some can be found here.

Z : Zoo animal favorite(s) : Elephants and lions.

Deployment Goals.

2011-03-26T07:28:00.022-05:00

I normally do not partake in making a 'deployment goals' list, as I've always had school, work, parenting, family and my best friend living close by to be entertained enough to get through the very long months.

This time, I'm not living 25 minutes away from family and my best friend lives across the country. So, goals here we come!

1. Have a girls' weekend out West to visit my bestie, Sarah.
2. Make repairs on our home in Tennessee and put it on the market.
3. Read the entire The Chronicles Of Narnia series (0/7).
4. Become an avid flosser.
5. Take the kiddo to Canada.
6. Head to Vermont for some Vermont maple syrup! And to Ben & Jerry's!
7. Hang an American flag on our front porch.
8. Plant flowers.
9. ~~Cut out soda~~. (Last soda April 7th)
10. Run 1 mile straight. (Up to a 1/2 mile)
11. Run in a 5k.
12. Save, save, save!
13. Bake a pie from scratch.
14. Do something that makes me uncomfortable. - I'm not sure what this would be yet, but I'll post it when I know it.
15. Start back to school and place on the Dean's List.
16. Take a trip to Lake Placid to investigate the alligator.
17. Go white water rafting.
18. Get a massage, quarterly.
19. Cut out meat for a week.
20. Prettify our house.
21. Attend Jazz Fest.
22. Blog for a month straight.
23. Learn patience.
24. Implement a cleaning schedule and stick to it.
25. Start Grey's Anatomy from season 1 and catch up on it. -- I may scratch this one, because I'm not really a fan.
26. Redecorate the kidlet's room.
27. Log 250 miles on the treadmill. (11.4 out of 250 as of April 27th)
28. Read 52 books. (Started on April 3rd) (4 out of 52)
29. Lose 13lbs (-2.2lbs as of April 3rd)

I may add more goals to the list as time goes on. These are just the ones that I thought of off the top of my head. The ones in italics & bold are in progress and the ones with a ~~strikethrough~~ are completed!

Here's to the next year and working towards these goals to help pass the time. Cheers!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #35.

2011-03-25T07:30:00.005-05:00

Okay, I'm definitely going to try to blog more often. I've been taking this past week (okay, week & half) to sulk, whine and be miserable. I miss my husband and I miss the kind of laugh that only he evokes. But who wants to read about that? I personally don't even want to write about it, so you're welcome in advance for what I saved you from.

Right now, I'm working on my deployment to do list. Have you made one in the past or have one that you're currently completing? I have a few things written down, but I need some ideas. What are things that you set out to accomplish during your deployments?

I guess while I'm pondering what exactly put on my list in the next few days, I would partake in the MilSpouse Friday Fill-in hosted by Wife of a Sailor.

1. What is your must have gadget? by Flying High With My Flyboy
I have two must have gadgets! My first one is my iPhone. Ah, I LOVE my phone aka my small personal computer. It easily syncs to my MacBook with no problems. There's always an app available to download that can help me out with something from like Facebook, Yahoo Messenger, and Twitter to many, many games, to messing around with my Netflix, finding a Redbox location, the ability to Skype and finally, the ability to upload my checks to my bank account. I could go on and on, but let's just sum it up in these few words : I LOVE my iPhone.

My second would be my TomTom. I am thankful for the times that it actually takes me where we need to go! It makes navigating a new place so much easier and long trips seem less scary when it comes to driving through cities.

2. How does your adulthood compare to what you imagined it would be like when you were a little kid? submitted by L to the Third
I don't know, I didn't have a clear cut path that I really expected my life to take as a kid. As a teenager, I had more of a path for college, marriage and babies in that order. I got married after my first year of college, had a baby right before my 22nd birthday and at some point, I HOPE to finish college. I guess I'm learning that things may not come in the particular order that you always expected them to come in, but that doesn't mean they cannot still happen.

3. What is your favorite chocolate recipe? submitted by Our First Deployment
This is a no-brainer : Boy fudge* AND no bake cookies. Together. At the same time, preferably.
And because I'm lazy, I only eat the fudge at my mom's house and buy no bake cookies from Walmart. So, no recipes.

4.How do you deal with military life when it gets to be to much or to hard? submitted by Combat Boots And Pointe Shoes
Military life is the only lifestyle I've known, so I guess I don't feel like we go through many hardships. The motive I've learned and pretty much lived by since I was young is : adapt and overcome. There are the deployments that royally suck and there are the missed births, birthdays, and holidays with family members that we deal with - but for the most part, military life works for our family. My husband is really good at leaving work at work. When he comes home, he takes off his ACUs and become a husband and father. So in a sense, we stay pretty grounded.

5.What piece of advice would you give a new Military spouse facing their first deployment? submitted by The Albrecht Squad
The things that I have learned from each and every deployment (including this current one) is to surround yourself with a supportive group of friends. And it's definitely quality over ~~quantity~~. You don't have to be the life of get togethers nor do you have to try to be everyone's friend - things that I definitely attempted to do. If you don't like someone, don't hang out with them. It's that simple. And stay busy! Find a few friends that keep your grounded and plan to do things with them. For me, personally, weekends are hard because that is family time for us. So, I try and plan to do things with my girlfriends on weekends.

Something that I did during my first deployment and continue to do every deployment is to do payday lunches/dinners with the ladies. Every payday, we go out to lunch or dinner at a restaurant. It gives me something to look forward to every two weeks because it gets me out of the house, I don't have to cook and I generally have plenty of leftovers for an additional meal or two!

So : quality friendships, staying busy (school, planning get togethers, volunteering, working) and payday lunches/dinners!

*My mom differentiates between fudge by calling it boy fudge and girl fudge. The boy fudge is the kind she makes with nuts in it :)

I'm One of THOSE Wives ... Again.

2011-03-16T10:24:00.002-05:00

It's not a category any of us like, yet we get placed in it from time to time. There's nothing we can do about it, no matter how hard we try to fight it, voice it, etc.

I am a wife of a deployed Soldier again.

We knew when we took orders to move from Louisiana to here that it would be to a deploying brigade. We knew that, so we attempted to spend majority of our time here enjoying the time we knew we had left before the big "D Day". And we did! Which is a big reason as to why I've been off of the blogland for the last couple of months.

We set our house up

Went to a military ball

We celebrated our little man turning 3

And took a trip to Chicago/Michigan

The time seemed to go by quickly. We came home, tried to settle back in, only for the husband to head to work and be told he would be leaving the following week. I wish I could say that we went out and did marvelous things before he left again, but we didn't. We both got sick. We both had a touch of the flu, and then I got a sinus infection and literally the day before he left, sat in the urgent care for 4 hours (5 if you add pharmacy waiting time) to be told I had pink eye. Definitely not the way we wanted to say our goodbyes, but we dealt with the cards we given and made the best of the situation.

The night before the husband left, we made up a kisses jar.
I counted out exactly 365 Hershey kisses for the year deployment and put them in a jar.

See all those prescriptions? My idea of fun!

Every night before the kiddo goes to bed, he will get a "kiss" from Daddy.

There are moments that my heart breaks a bit more than usually. Like when our son expectedly looks to the window when Daddy should be home for lunch or from work and he's not there. Or when I tell him it's time for a "kiss" from Daddy and he runs expectantly looking for him to be there to give him a kiss.

The Lazy Neighbor.

2011-02-08T16:05:00.001-06:00

Seeing as I really do not know anyone here and the people that read this really don't know where I live, I can now bring back the neighbor posts! Are you excited? I've had a little time to "observe" my neighbors since I had to take off school this semester due to us moving from the southern region of the US to the northern region.

I have this neighbor that is really incredibly lazy. I'll call her Beth because there once was a lady that I didn't like named Beth and this lady most certainly looks like Beth.

So, let me tell you about Beth. Beth was all hot to trot when it came to getting out her snow blower and blowing the snow when we got less than an inch. I swear, she was out there every single day, approximately every couple of hours. I now know why, because her household goods had yet to arrive and she had nothing else to do with her time. Well, her belongings arrived and she promptly stored them in her garage - where they've been going on three weeks. Because of this, her cars are now sitting out in her driveway full time. That's not really big deal, except we get a lot of snow (a couple of inches usually every night) and Beth likes to continually drive her vehicles without shoveling or using her snow blower to remove snow. So, all that means that she has a major build up of ice where she constantly is driving over the same spots.

This is not what makes her lazy.

Well, about a week ago Beth finally realized that she had yet to plow her driveway for some time, so she goes out there and attempts to use her snow blower to chip away at the sheet of ice her driveway has essentially become. After about an hour and breaking her snow blower, Beth gives up.

This is not what makes her lazy.

On Sunday, we got about 8-10 inches of snow overnight. My husband started shoveling our driveway, while I tended to the kidlet inside. The neighbor that lives in the attached house next to Beth goes out and starts shoveling her driveway. I told the husband that I think this neighbor's husband was gone, so maybe he could offer to help her when he was finished. Instead of waiting, he went over to help her. That's when Beth came out to use her new snow blower after breaking her other one. Beth promptly used her snow blower on her driveway while my husband and the other neighbor worked together to clear her driveway. Beth finished her driveway and instead of seeing if our fellow neighbor needed help, she put her snow blower away.

This is not what makes her lazy.

At this point, I was annoyed. I have seen Beth and our fellow neighbor chat on several occasions and even them leaving from one another's homes ... so I know they know each other. Beth never offered to help her. I had noticed that this neighbor's husband was gone, so I know Beth had to have too. Beth never leaves her house.

This is not what makes her lazy.

So, after finishing her own driveway, Beth decides to grab her shovel and clean off her walkway and front porch (something that we're supposed to also remove snow from). After about two shovels full, Beth goes into her house and out comes her daughter. Her daughter then proceeds to take over shoveling duties while Beth is apparently exhausted from walking up and down her driveway approximately five or six times and sits on her butt while telling her daughter how to properly shovel snow. Beth has shown me that she's basically lazy at this point.

But this is not what makes her lazy.

Today, while I was out shoveling the 4-5 inches of snow that we got last night and this morning, Beth comes out and gets in her truck. As I'm shoveling, she's just sitting in her truck watching me. Creeper. Well, then Beth starts using her windshield wiper fluid to de-ice her windshield. She continues to do this for FIVE minutes. FINALLY, she opens her door, stands up and reaches over to finally scrap her windshield clean. I was wondering why she didn't just get out of her truck and scrap her windshield prior to the five minutes of trying to use her wiper fluid? And then I noticed it, at almost 3pm in the afternoon Beth has emerged to fall right into the "Army wife generalization" that a lot of people have for us - she was in her kissy lip pajama bottoms, attempting to defrost her window to go run errands. This is what makes her lazy. So now I know that Beth gets exhausted from a five minute walk behind a self-propelling machine, so much so, that she cannot offer a fellow military spouse some help - while watching my husband and said spouse work together to shovel and dictating orders to her daughter and because at 3 in the afternoon, she cannot dress herself enough to go run errands and riles on gallons of windshield wiper fluid to defrost her windshield.

I've Been Gone For A Long Time.

2011-02-01T14:55:00.005-06:00

At least it feels like it. I've lost a few readers along the way, but that's okay. I'm not really sure they ever read my blog anyhow, hence them following it.

A bit has happened since I last posted! I'm going to break it down with the numbers game.

1. If you love your in-laws and cherish your relationship with them, under no circumstances live in the same vicinity with them for more than a week or so. I'm not sure how much time it will take to repair our relationship, my three weeks was way to much time to be in the same space as my mother in-law. I love her dearly and wish that I could rewind time and take into consideration the stress that she was under and I would hope that she wishes she could do the same for me. However, the good thing that came out of this was hearing my husband say something on my behalf when I "wasn't around" (I was upstairs in my room, pouting). He stuck up for me and told me that even though he could both see our wrongdoings, that it wasn't just me being overly sensitive to everything going on, some of the tension was half her fault. I'm grateful for that.

The only people that can really put up with you for that long are your own family members. There's nothing like telling one of them to "shut up" and knowing that they'll still love you. You are of blood, they are pretty much obligated to do so. {Read that mom for when I come to visit for a month ;)}

2. The unpacking of my house went smoothly. I think because of the above mentioned, I felt the need to continually unpack and put things away. It helped, because pretty much everything is in it's rightful space. Everything except pictures. I have no idea where I want to put stuff up on the walls yet, so for now, pictures and frames are tucked away in a closet.

3. I love, love my house. I went from living in this :

To this! :

I love, love my new house! Everyone has told us over and over again how much we were going to hate having stairs in our home, but honestly, they're not a big deal. For the most part, we stay downstairs and only venture upstairs to clean, shower and go to sleep.

3. I currently live 30 miles from Canada! How cool is that, eh? I'm so excited to go and currently I'm working on all three of us getting passports to travel there later this year.

4. Instead of waiting a year to reapply to school, I immediately found a college here that supports my college aspirations. I'm currently waiting on my other three colleges to send them transcripts (hello, being a MilSpouse!) to see if I'm accepted. I'm trying to accomplish everything now before my vacation to mom's house.

5. I picked up a new winter sport : shoveling snow. My husband doesn't understand why I want to get out there and shovel, but hello! it burns approximately 350 calories per half hour! Cha-ching!

6. New York is beautiful. Every single time my husband and I drove up to Michigan, I always felt this "at home" feeling. It's not something I can describe, but it's the only place I have ever truly thought about putting roots down and living out our life. Well, I got that same feeling when we moved here. I fall more in love with New York and the North every day. I wake up every day thanking God that we were blessed to move here. We love it. Granted, my husband who grew up on Lake Michigan feels at home with us now living super close to Lake Ontario - I also feel like I'm home. I think my heart has always been destined to be a Yankee. Although they drive like effin' maniacs!

Yeah, that's all I can think of right now. I feel like my life is finally back in order from the upheaval that I felt when December rolled around. The chaos really helped to pass the time, but I like things a little more causal.

Gripers Unite!

2011-01-09T20:33:00.001-06:00

We're slowly but surely settling into our new roots here in upstate New York. I love looking out and seeing the snow. Snow belongs with winter, not 60 degree days. But I'm saving all that for another blog post.

This one is about griping.
And about how I cannot gripe and every time I do, someone takes it personally. FML.

I'm not a pessimistic person by nature, but I do gripe. I've gotten so used to saying my gripes aloud that I still do, even when around people. In my defense, I'm usually by myself, with Diesel or the kidlet - to which a response isn't necessary nor ever provided. I miss griping without having to explain myself, which I've had to do since ... I left my mom's house.

I love my in-laws, I do ... but they don't see me often enough or have ever really spent a huge sum of time with me to understand that I rhetorically gripe without the expectation that I'm going to get a response. I guess you could call it "talking to yourself" - whatev. I also am a little tired of having to explain myself and therefore get labeled 'particular' by those around me. I'm not particular, however, it's just easier to do things myself - having done them day in and day out - then sit there and take up more time and explain them. I. am. so. tired. of. it.

For example, today I looked out my window and saw the kids from next door running through our joined yard and into mine to run atop the snow mounds from shoveling the driveways. I causally said, "I wish they wouldn't do that." Immediately I'm met with, "They're just kids." Okay, I'm not complaining about the kids being kids, I'm complaining about the fact that they know no boundaries when it comes to their yard and our yard.

I just miss griping.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T22:12:00.001-06:00

Ahh, the freshness of a new year! A new year gives us time to reflect on our previous year worth of memories and hope for all the new possibilities in the unfilled months ahead.

I'm pretty excited for this new year.

Anyhow, I hope everyone enjoyed a kiss after midnight whether if it was shared with a spouse, kiddo, family member or pet!

Kisses at midnight!

Resolutions for the new year :

1. At some point, stop cussing. I feel like this is always going to be a work in progress but I drop way too many f-bombs!

2. Get back to my working out schedule. I'm down to a desirable weight, I just want to tone up.

3. After we get settled into our new home in New York, cut out the fast food. I'm so over fast food at this point from traveling.

4. Knock out sodas. I did really fantastic for a couple of months and then took a sip of a diet soda and it's been a daily thing since.

Never Again.

2010-12-22T21:49:00.000-06:00

Never again will I plan to take finals, pack/move/clean an apartment, and drive 12 hours in one week. Never again. It was almost too much to accomplish, but being me, I like challenges and I took to it like a champ.

I finished finals and after a three-year break from school, my first semester back I made the Dean's List :) The only sucky part about this is it looks like I'll have to take the entire Spring semester off next year due to us moving and them not offering 8 week courses at the new school I will be applying at. Bummer.

I had planned to sleep the night before driving from Louisiana to my mom's house (approximately 11&1/2-12 hours of straight driving) but we had assholes in the room below us in our hotel. They were slamming their door and yelling ... at 11pm! I was so irritated and wanted to leave a nasty little passive-aggressive note on their door, but I resisted. After this continuing for 20 or so minutes I just decided that my 2hour nap was enough and for the little man and I to head out on the road. I made it approximately 6&1/2 hours, 50 miles outside Memphis, TN and had to pull over and take a 45-minute nap. I'm sure the kiddo and I passed out in my car at the rest stop was a sight.

And so now we're in Tennessee visiting with family. Ah, the holidays + family = blessing/curse. Does anyone else have a family that constantly argues? I suppose that's normal within bigger families like mine. At some point someone is getting on someone else's nerves only to be replaced by two different people an hour from now. Lovely.

Driving around on Fort Campbell yesterday really made me miss it. It made Polk look even more so like the shithole that it's known for. I told people should we get orders for there again, I'm staying behind to work on my master's. This is always followed with someone telling me I haven't even finished the first part of my degree yet ... exactly. I refuse to live there again. God bless anyone else who comes across this blog and is heading to that duty station. My prayers are with you!

I think since the craziness has finally died down and I don't feel consumed by studying and still being super mom/wife, I'll be blogging a little bit more often. I hope everyone is having a great holiday so far!

December Time Table!

2010-12-02T09:56:00.006-06:00

I keep walking past my fridge just to look at the time table I made up and posted on the fridge. It's all about keeping your eyes on the prize and the prize is leaving Louisiana! I figured I would share it with everyone!

~~December 2nd~~ ~~- Final & class~~
~~Dec 3rd~~ ~~- Class, moving inspection & submitting our household application to our new duty station~~
~~Dec 4th&5th~~ ~~- Going through and getting rid of items we definitely do not want to take with us~~
~~Dec 6th~~ ~~- Final & class~~
~~Dec 7th~~ ~~- Class & tutoring~~
~~Dec 8th~~ ~~- Final day of classes & tutoring some friends~~
~~Dec 9th~~ ~~- Tutoring some friends & final~~
~~Dec 10/11/12th~~ ~~- Studying and packing up clothes & other necessities we will need for the next month~~
~~Dec 13th~~ ~~- Final~~
~~Dec 14th~~ ~~- Last final && finish packing and getting rid of items that I do not want going with us~~
~~Dec 15th~~ ~~- Packers come & we check into a hotel~~
~~Dec 16th~~ ~~- Movers come and start the journey of taking our belongings to New York~~
~~Dec 17/18/19th~~ ~~- Cleaning apartment~~
~~Dec 20th~~ ~~- Sign out of Fort Polk, Louisiana, move-out inspection & journey starts to Tennessee~~
Dec 25th - Head to Michigan
Jan 7th - Leave for Pennslyvania
Jan 8th - Arrive in New York & check into a hotel
Jan 10th - "Report" to new duty station and move into our house

The January time table is if everything goes right and we get housing right away, which I'm really hoping that that happens.

Now, after we submit our housing application for a house in New York and my husband officially signs out of Fort Polk, we will be put on the housing waiting list. As of right now, they told me that our wait is possibly one to two months for the area we want to live in. My husband and I decided that if a house is not available by his reporting date of Jan 10th, I will stay with his family in Michigan until so. There's just no reason for the three of us to live in cramped hotel room with a dog for an unknown amount of time. Especially when my MIL loves me and would rather us move in :)

I'm terrified that I will not be properly geared for the snow - car, clothing, etc. I'm pretty sure if and while it snows in Michigan, my husband will have me out learning how to properly drive in the snow, in my car, for a good length of time each day/night. I'm actively researching online for the best clothes, jackets and boots to wear. I like to be over prepared for such occasions. I'm a planner, as noted by the fact that I made out an organized time table and posted it on my fridge.

Also, this doesn't have all the other things that I need to to do within the next few weeks. Oh no, things like change mailing address, cancel certain services, mail things, etc. was saved for another list. Ahh, there's some serious enjoyment on my end when it comes to making lists!

** Update : I've decided to link this post and cross the dates virtually like I'm completing on my fridge!

It's The Silence.

2010-12-01T14:07:00.003-06:00

Last night, my husband and I went back and forth over stupid, stupid stuff. It wasn't his fault at all and after each round, I apologized because it had nothing to do with him. Its just that I'm on an emotional high and the slightest of slights, and the. world. has. ended. He knows this and still talks to me rationally, but even I'm at the point of just wanting to punch myself in the face.

I'm a stress basket case. I don't deal with stress well. Last month when my husband and I found out that we would be leaving this state around Christmas, I was thrilled. My husband on the other hand, was worried that I would get stressed out in the short time period we were given and self-imploded. And to be honest, with school, tests and now finals approaching along with packing, moving and cleaning the apartment all at the same time - I haven't gotten stressed. It's been amazing. And it's because the busyness is saving me.

I knew we wouldn't get to spend a large amount of time with my mom and siblings over the Christmas holiday, so I asked my husband if we could spend our Thanksgiving holiday with them. And we did. We packed up and drove to Tennessee on Thanksgiving. Aside from the occasional family tiffs that we always have amongst four siblings, it was a peaceful and enjoyable time. I tell you, getting back into the car to drive 12 hours only to spend the next three weeks here - I didn't want to. But, knowing that I have school and the move, I knew these three weeks would fly by.

The thing that is stressing me out and the reason I'm on such an emotional high is that my dad got remarried. Approximately a year after he decided our family was not what he wanted anymore, he remarried some lady. While on the phone with him during Thanksgiving, he failed to mention this to me. He decided the best approach {apparently} was just to announce it on Facebook Sunday night. Yes, people - my grown father, whom I've always been exceptionally close to, announced his life changing event via a social media network. #FAIL. That's when I realized the father that I had known, and the memories that I had been clinging to for the past year to preserve that man were of no use - because my father essentially died.

My dad didn't just divorce my mom, but he removed himself from my siblings' lives slowly. He just disappeared. For this past year, I have rallied his name to them, telling them to not give up. I kept telling them that he just needed some time to figure out his new life and what he wanted. I even told this to myself over and over again for the past few months. The countless cancelations last minute, the unreturned phone calls and texts - everything. I kept telling myself that he just needed time. And then came this marriage. After months and months of some terrible lows, where I found myself pulling inward and shutting down with those that love me the most, I have come to the realization that I'm ultimately hurting myself for the sake of someone who should care and who should want to be in my life regardless if they are married to my mom or not.

So, I cut ties. I said enough was enough and that if he wants in my life, he can do it by actively participating rather than reading about it on my Facebook. More so than me deserving that amount of respect, my son deserves more than a grandparent learning about him through posts and pictures. I told my husband that I wished that my dad would have just walked away 7 years ago when he first realized the true extent of his unhappiness, but rationally, I know that it was best he hung around. My mom is in a much better place and as adults, I believe my siblings and I are more easily understanding that it has nothing to do with us. That we are not the reason that he walked out of our lives. My dad has some soul-searching to do, and I hope he finds it. But I am not longer emotionally capable of going along for that ride. In the past year, my father has slowly destroyed the previous 23 years of a relationship that I assumed would always be there. I never took my father for granted and I cherished every moment of my childhood with him. I'm one of those lucky people that never had to say they wished they did things differently when it comes to those type of relationships.

I love my dad. I do not wish him ill-will, but that whatever it is that he's seeking, he finds. I had only wished to be a part of his journey and his life. Part of this move means more than getting out of Louisiana. I'm excited because I know that when we move from this place, I can begin to protect myself better from the very deep hurt I feel and the anger that is superficially protecting it. Rather than face the reality of not being what my father deems necessary in his life, I'm sure I will tell myself it is the distance that keeps us from having that close relationship. It's not like me to tell myself such things, but I know I will. Because what rational person just ups and leaves a daughter that has loved them more than any person they will ever meet?

I'm thankful that my husband knows that I'm not really angry about him wanting people to unpack our belongings for us in New York. Nor the fact that he wants me to compromise and I just don't want to. And that I'm definitely not unhappy about doing the housework by myself, because the busyness preoccupies my mind. I cannot take the silence. The silence, like now, gives me a moment to sit down and think about the death of the father I loved and knew.

And it's in the silence that reminds me that I'm mourning a living person.

Waiting On December.

2010-11-29T18:22:00.000-06:00

I'm sorry that I've lost total track of my blog. I got sucked into school and the shenanigans that go along with family. But I promised last week that I would update you on the things going on around the Amazing household and here I am!. There are a few things going on in my life right now, but I suppose I can update everyone with the biggest of news for our family :

In three weeks time, we will be packing up our house and MOVING!

Yes, yes and YESSSS! {that last one was said in an orgasmic 'yes', fyi}

After a couple of anxious months, we received word that we would be PCSing [moving] to New York!

To answer a couple of obnoxious statements :

Yes, we know it's going to be cold but have you lived in Louisiana? And I don't know what your mother has told you, but you can put on more layers if you get cold. However, there's only so many clothes you can take off while out in the Louisiana sticky summers before your neighbors start looking at your weird {true story}.

I will gladly trade the Super Walmart for an actual mall, no matter how small it may be and my beloved Target.
I will trade the sticky summers of chlorine-filled pools for glorious snowy winters that include learning to ski.
I will trade Papa Johns/Pizza Hut for New York style pizza from Mom&Pop shops.
I will trade the 4&1/2 hours away from New Orleans for the 6 hours from NYC, Boston, Philly and hello, Canada!

I put in our 30-days notice on the 20th and we do our official walk-out inspection on December 20th and then make our way to spend the holidays with family while in route to New York!

I'm Alive.

2010-11-24T06:10:00.004-06:00

Hi. Remember me? I know, I know ... I've been pretty MIA for the last few weeks.

Blame it on school, life, and everything in between.

But I'll be back after the Thanksgiving holiday with big news for us. Maybe even sooner if I can find some time between getting ready for the Thanksgiving holiday and I'm able to take a few moments to write it a few things out.

Today I'm Wearing Purple To Remember And To Say Enough Is Enough.

2010-10-20T15:59:00.000-05:00

Sorry that I've been MIA from the blog and from continuing my 30-day meme. I plan to return to it soon. Just midterms and the likes have been slightly overwhelming.

I'm taking a break from writing papers and studying to write about something very near and dear to my heart ... bullying. Especially the bullying of my brother.

If you haven't heard, a lot of youth have been committing suicide in recent weeks due to bullying. The reasons include because they were gay, had learning disabilities or because they didn't look, talk, or come from families that have been "approved" socially acceptable. Their peers decided the worth of their lives and because of that, they ended them.

When I was younger and in seventh and eighth grade, I was what was termed a 'mean girl.' Back then, I had no idea I was a mean girl. I just made fun of people and laughed at them. You can say karma hit me full force when I entered high school and the mean girls turned on me. I remember just wanting to hide my freshman year of high school, it was that bad. I was taunted, picked on, called names, and even threatened several times. There were many days I didn't want to go to school because I didn't want to see those girls that somehow, made it a point every day to make me feel worthless. I cannot even begin to count the number of days where I felt scared to go and therefore, hid out in classrooms that I knew I would be protected by the teachers.

At some point, it became easier and the things they said didn't matter to me anymore. However, that wasn't the case for my brother.

My brother was teased from about 6th grade until we graduated. He was different and because of that, our peers decided that he should feel like he was worthless. What I felt for the first few years of high school doesn't compare to the actual torment that my brother endured on an every day basis. When the mean girls moved on, my brother still dealt with bullying.

You see, my brother is gay and living in a small town, made of country folk, there was no place to be different. He endured gay slurs all day long : faggot, queer, homo, queen, fairy, flamer ... just to name a few. Every day, all day long. The bullying escalated to the point that he was being pushed and shoved. And from there, escalated to people attacking him in places that they knew teachers weren't and that the cameras didn't show. I'm not sure how he survived it for so long, but he did. I say survived, because it wasn't just going to school and learning but rather, he had to push through and find a way to live every day at school.

If I saw something or heard something, I stepped in. I would physically put myself between the boys that picked on my brother and him. I would yell and dare them to hit me instead. To say the things they said to him to say to me. Majority of the time, they walked away. I stopped caring about what was said about me, I just wanted it to stop for my brother. I just wanted him to have one day that he would enjoy of our years together in high school. I know he didn't like his little sister stepping in and say something on his behalf, but there was just nothing that was going to stop me. I was tired of seeing him pushed around and made to feel like he was beneath all the losers that we had to attend school with.

The height of the bullying came after it was found out that he had his belly button pierced. My brother wasn't exactly "out" but he was making no effort anymore to cover up who he was. I remembered when people were coming up to me and asking me about it - I had no clue and told them I didn't know what they were talking about. I found my brother later in the morning and asked him about it, in which he told me it was true and that he didn't care anymore. I felt two things: Pride that he was being himself and then fear for what he was about to endure because I knew it was coming. There were too many assholes in our class to let something like that go. And they didn't.

A few weeks later, I went and knocked on my brother's bedroom door to check on him. He had been in his room for majority of the afternoon and my dad wanted me to check on him. I knocked and knocked, and he didn't answer. When I opened it up, he was on the floor, in a ball and crying. The emotional, verbal and physical abuse that he endured on a constant basis to get an education had taken a toll. He could no longer 'survive' in that setting. On the floor beside him, laid the note he had written to say goodbye. You see, suicide was a very real thought on his mind. He had tried and tried to let the things go, to not let others define him, but after the relentless abuse that he received he couldn't anymore. They broke him.

To this day, I think about what if I had not checked on him? What if I would have let him be when he didn't answer the door? What would my life be without my brother? Things that I am so very thankful that I do not have to think about, imagine or live through. My parents made the decision to pull my brother out of school and after speaking with the principal, my brother was able to finish his education in the safety of our home and earn his diploma.

He missed all of our senior year activities, including prom - everything.

Six months after my brother stopped attending school, we arrived for graduation night. As we were lined up and waiting for them to start, the taunts started again ... queer, fag ... and I had enough. I remember stepping out of line, walking back to the asshole in particular that was ruining our night and said this, "You've taken everything from him, can't you just give him one night that he'll remember of his days in high school not ruined by your shitty remarks?" Somehow, I got through to him and he shut up. That night I was able to graduate next to my brother.

With all these recent suicides, the memory of our senior year finds its way back to the front of my thoughts. I'm thankful that I have my brother and I could not imagine my life without him in it. I'm thankful that this taught me to stand up for not only myself, but for those that I love. It taught me to have empathy for others

Today I will wear purple to remember those that have ended their lives because of anti-gay bullying.

Enough is enough.

Fall Favorites Swap!

2010-10-13T09:17:00.000-05:00

A few weeks back, I signed up to participate in the Fall Favorites Swap hosted by Flip Flops & Combat Boots.

I've always wanted to be a part of one of these swaps, but I always seemed to miss the deadline by a day or two. Darnit! For all those that really know me, you know how horrible I am about mailing anything off. Even things that I can simply walk to the mail box and drop off there. So, making a trip to the post office is a big ordeal. I'll have you know that I mailed this package off on time. I know, shocking!

Anyhoo, I was paired up with Nicole from Flip Flops & Combat Boots and received this awesome package :

Adorable Halloween socks {I wonder if she knew that I love holiday socks?}, a Halloween cookbook, a fall colored shopping list for my fridge {was definitely in need of a new one!}, cute Autumn stickers, a pumpkin scented candle with votive holder, some Dots candy corn flavored candies, a Trick-or-Treat picture frame, orange, candy corn hand towels AND ...

PUMPKIN SPICE COFFEE!!!!!!!!

Seriously, I didn't even know this existed and pumpkin spice is my favorite thing about fall. Nicole, consider yourself on my Christmas card list!

{Day 14} : Ghost Adventures.

2010-10-10T10:03:00.000-05:00

So, time to pick the 30-day meme back up.

Today is Day 14 : A show you're currently addicted to.

I love October for many reasons, but one of the biggest is because all the ghost/paranormal shows are back on air. I know the show Ghost Hunters airs on and off throughout the year, but I don't watch that anymore. I'm tired of watching them go into a location, sit and chat and then go through their evidence at the end. BORING.

But I do love me some Ghost Adventures with Zak Bagans, Nick Groff and Aaron Goodwin. Instead of visiting a location for a few hours, hoping to get evidence of the paranormal and a big camera crew following them around, they are locked into the location for at least 12 hours. Also nice, they show the evidence as it happens AND there's not a big camera crew following them around. It's just the three of them with their own cameras and recorders. Also, forget the monotone questions like Ghost Hunters ask, they speak to ghosts with emotions, trying to provoke them. They will also reenact certain things to provoke the spirits.

Sometimes it takes me a day or two to get through a show because I get so weirded out while watching it. Yes, I'm a big baby when it comes to scary things.

Ghost Adventures comes on Fridays at 9/8c on the Travel Channel.

Hilarious spoof. But seriously, if you're into the paranormal, I'd recommend this show.

{Day 13} : Music.

2010-10-04T09:04:00.001-05:00

Today is Day 13 : Your favorite musician and why?

I don't have a favorite musician in this day and age. If you asked my 12 y/o self, she would definitely tell you NSync. There are bands and singers that I love and adore, but none that I would say are my absolute favorite above the rest.

I do have an absolute favorite song which was originally sang by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers called "Free Fallin'", but I find myself falling in love more and more with John Mayer's acoustic version :

This is the reason why I started listening to his music. Without this song, I would have continued to ignore him. Love it.

Tom Petty's version which I still LOVE can be found here.

{Day 12} : Mulletville, Lousyana.

2010-10-03T22:54:00.000-05:00

Today is Day 12 : A picture of the town you live in.

I'm not really sure why someone would want a picture of this town, but here is a satellite picture of it.

I keep meaning to take a picture of something while I'm out and about, but I keep forgetting. Just like I plan to hopefully forget it when we move in the future.

Menu Plan {Oct 2-Oct 8}

2010-10-02T22:36:00.003-05:00

I make my menu plans on Friday for the upcoming week of Saturday through the next Friday since I go grocery shopping on Saturday. Genius, huh?

Also, I plan to update everything I've made with recipes & pictures to go with :)

Saturday {Oct 2nd}
-B : Waffles and sausage
-D : Pulled pork sammiches w/hot german potato salad and corn on the cobb

Sunday
-B : Monkey bread
-L : Sandwiches & chips or leftover baked ziti
-D : Leftover pulled bbq pork sandwiches & german potato salad

Monday
-B : Pumpkin spice muffins
-L : Grilled cheese w/pineapple {not together, but you know, on the side}
-D : Chili lime chicken tostadas w/fixings

Tuesday
-B : Pancakes for the kidlet & oatmeal for me
-D : Leftover chili lime chicken tostadas w/fixings

Wednesday
-B : Apple cinnamon oatmeal
-D : Chiptole chicken w/potatoes au gratin and honey-sticky rolls

Thursday
-B : Pumpkin spice muffins
-D : Leftovers or sandwiches

Friday
-B : French toast
-L : Pizza
-D : Taco ring w/fixings

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #15.

2010-10-01T14:04:00.000-05:00

Today is one of my favorite days, MilSpouse fill-in!

via Wife of a Sailor

1. What is the silliest get-up you have ever worn outside of a Halloween party?
I've always been a t-shirt and blue jeans type of gal, so I really wouldn't say I wore many funky attires. Although in high school, one day I thought it would "cool" to wear the Army doctor green scrub bottoms and an orange shirt. I don't recall those colors every going to together.

2. What is something that you gave up in order to live the military lifestyle?
I don't recall really giving up much of anything, because I was a military brat prior to becoming a military wife. This is the only "lifestyle" I have ever known. There have been times on my part that I've chosen to be lazy about pursuing things, but that is in no way of a reflection on the fact that I married a man who serves this country.

3. If money wasn't a factor and you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? And why?
I would love, love to tour all of Europe. There's such culture and history there.

4. If you were going to join the military, what branch would you join? Or which MOS/rating would you choose?
I've always looked at being a nurse in the Army and honestly, it's something I think about from time to time. With watching my neighbor say goodbye to her children for a year long deployment, I've decided it's just not for me. I couldn't leave our son here and both of us deploy. That's just not something I'm willing to put my child through.

5. What is your favorite thing to make for dinner?
My favorite, favorite thing to make can be found here : Chicken Pasta.

{Day 11} : Makeup!

2010-09-30T18:00:00.001-05:00

Today is Day 11 : What's in your makeup bag?

I'm a pretty low-key gal when it comes to makeup. I rarely, if ever where foundation of any kind. Once in a blue moon I'll wear my bareMinerals, but most of the time it's strictly eye makeup with a little blush and some pale lipstick.

Here is the bag that holds the things I use on a daily basis. I also have a makeup drawer with more stuff, but I like to plop my bag of favorites on the counter while I do the southern thing and "put my face on."

Just a Clinque bag that I snagged from my mom

The contents in the bag

And everything within :

4 eyeshadow palettes, eyeshadow brush, brown eyeliner, bareMineral brushes, mascara,

Urban Decay eyeshadow primer potion, mousse blush, eyebrow brush, white eyeliner,

eyeliner sharpener, eyeliner brush, and tweezers.

Of that, I use my eyeshadow primer, brown eyeshadow with the brown eyeliner,

blush, mascara, eyebrow brush, white liner for my waterline.

When I where the purple, I'll take my eyeliner brush, wet it and use the darkest shade

as my eyeliner from the purple palette.

The only thing missing is my lipstick and that's because it's across the house, in my purse.

Yep, it takes me about 10ish minutes to do my makeup and that's the way my husband likes it. Like I said, I'm pretty low-key. The only thing I splurge on is the Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion and it's worth it. My eyeshadow never creases and I find that the color is truer to what's on the palette.

{Day 10} : Dear Michael's, I Miss You.

2010-09-29T19:49:00.000-05:00

Today is Day 10 : A photo of your favorite place to eat.

I'm going to be real for a moment ... I love food. Yes, I love it. And because of that, I'm particularly unbiased when it comes to where we eat when we go out for dinner. My only opinion on the "Hey, where would you like to eat in the town that's 50-ish minutes away?" is that they have to have good food. And yes, there are no restaurants here in this little po-dunk "city" of Lousyana. Unless you consider fast-food your choice of satisfying your soul when in dire need of not wanting to cook.

So, since I don't have a favorite place to eat, I figured I would tell you my favorite thing that I always get several times in a week long visit back in Tennessee and that would be :

via Michael's Pizza

THE best pizza I've ever had in my life. And trust me, I eat pizza everywhere I go and nothing compares. The crust is sweet, the sauce is sweet and the toppings ... mmm. This is probably one of the things that I miss the most from our days of living in Tennessee.

I love pizza. I eat it weekly and I'm not ashamed to tell you that. Mainly because my husband and son love it just as much. It works for our family. When it came to ordering a pizza every week, we were stuck with Papa John's or Pizza Hut. While I don't mind them, I knew I could eat a pizza in Michigan that would taste like a pizza from Louisiana from their stores. There was nothing original about it. So, one night my husband and I decided to order a pizza from a place that was literally 2 miles outside of our subdivision. After that night, we never looked back.

Want to know something sad? We could call the one closest to us, tell them our last name and they'd make a pepperoni/sausage/jalapenos pizza for us without us really having to place an order. They knew us and we knew them. It was love I tell you.

When I was there in May for three weeks, I'm pretty positive I ate it close to 8 times. Come November, I plan to get my fill again!

{Day 9} : Mmm, Starbucks.

2010-09-28T19:59:00.001-05:00

Today is Day 9 : A picture of the last item you bought.

I plan on replacing this image I found from surfing the internet tomorrow, because tomorrow I'll be buying what I bought today. Really, it's not that exciting but it bothers me that I never have my camera with me anymore. This is my one little splurge that I allow myself while pinching together pennies to pay off my car by the end of next month. I'm really, really looking forward to a little shopping spree come November.

On my way to class most days, I stop and grab one of these lovelies :

Iced pumpkin spice latte via Starbucks

It's my little heaven in a cup that only comes around in the fall/early winter months. You know, I think they could easily market this year-round with no problems but the fact that they sell it only during fall/winter months of the year probably helps to get more money from people like me who may or may not spend almost $20 a week there. STOP JUDGING ME! That's like a pizza, except spaced out throughout the week. And if you're wondering, no I don't feel guilty for spending $20 a week on me, especially when that's the only thing I am allowing myself to splurge on :)

{Day 8} : A Song For My Mood.

2010-09-27T16:15:00.004-05:00

Today is Day 8 : A song that matches your mood.

Today, it was only 76 when I got out of class and it was breezy. It has been an absolutely beautiful today to say the least. I love my Monday and Wednesday classes. LOVE them. Anyhow, I rolled the windows down on the way to pick the kidlet up and this song was on.

Love it. The song always makes me laugh and the video is just as hilarious.

Swagger of a cripple. Hells yeah.

WARNING : Explicit lyrics.

And here's another one that makes me laugh and puts me in a great mood.

Again, explicit lyrics. Sorry about that folks.

{Day 7} : Dream Wedding.

2010-09-26T09:55:00.002-05:00

Today is Day 7 : Your dream wedding.

Well, seeing as I'm married, it might be awkward to write about my future, dream wedding if you catch my drift.

Our wedding was beautiful. We got married at the end of July, when the skies were absolutely clear and beautiful. The church that we got married in had this huge skylight at the top of the building and because it was so sunny that day {thankfully} we did the entire service by skylight.

There are things that I wish I could go back and change:

1. Professional photographer. This is something my SILs wish they had done too. Not because I didn't like how the photos came out, but a professional photographer would have done a lot more than what our photographer did.

2. I would have only had my brother standing up there beside me. For some reason, I thought it had to be about even numbers. Yeah, he should have been my man of honor.

3. The size. I wouldn't have invited everyone that I didn't want to because I wouldn't have felt obligated. Actually, I may have had a destination wedding and held just a reception when we got home. But if you ask my in laws from Michigan, they would tell you that Tennessee was a destination for them.

And that's it ... for now. I think I actually blogged about this here while I was going through people's wedding pictures on Facebook last summer. Fix your privacy settings, because a creeper like me may be checking out your pictures!

Meet Bessie & Her Playmate. {Day 6}

2010-09-25T18:11:00.000-05:00

So, I decided when I have other things to post, that I'm not going to post of these 30-day meme prompts. I'm not a fan of multiple postings every day. This is just to help me blog about something a little more interesting than the kidlet, husband and school. You're welcome in advance.

Today is Day 6 : A picture of an animal that you'd like to keep as a pet.

I have two pets and I plan on getting them upon my husband retiring from the military and us moving to Michigan. This is a matter of fact statement because the husby promised me that when we're settled into our Michigan home that I can get both of these as "pets" as long as I don't get one now. You'll understand upon seeing their pictures.

1. I want a cow and I want to name her Bessie. No, I don't plan on milking her or drinking her milk for that matter (which she can't do until she has a calf and I don't plan on allowing my cow to get around.)

This is my future cow, Bessie ...

picture snagged via this website

And because Bessie needs a playmate/sibling her size, I really, really want one of these :

Which will grow up to look like this :

Also known as a neopolitan mastiff.

And yes, he will live inside the house and his name will be ... I'm not sure. I like Saxon for now or Custer.

The chances of me getting the cow are slim to none, because it would also require me to hire someone to take care of her, but I'm getting a neopolitan mastiff. The husband has promised me one or two.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in #14.

2010-09-24T10:01:00.001-05:00

via Wife of a Sailor

1.What characteristic about yourself has either been strengthened or weakened due to your experience as a Military Spouse?
Wow, that's a really great question. Growing up, I was very dependent on those around me to help me make decisions. I was constantly seeking the advice of others when it came time to make those decisions. While I still seek advice from time to time, becoming a MilSpouse has definitely strengthened my ability to make decisions and be more independent. I now run the household, balance the checkbook, pay the bills, budget our money, etc. Years ago that was something I was really uncomfortable doing and now, its like second nature.

2. What is your favorite vacation spot and why?
We haven't gone on many vacations that don't involve us going home. We are planning a Disney World vacation for Christmas of 2011, and we've been to a couple of cities - but honestly, I really, really love going to Michigan. I cannot tell you that overwhelming sense of peace that I get being there.

3. If you could have any fast-food restaurant in the food court on base/post what would you pick?
Wendy's or Sonic and for that reason, I'm glad they aren't available :)

4. Where did you go on your honeymoon?
Our honeymoon was a bit out of the ordinary. We had an amazing wedding and just decided to do something that fit our personalities afterwards. So, a couple of days after our wedding we decided to drive up to Cedar Point. I can say that Ohio is just not my cup of tea, but we had fun. We spent a day at Cedar Point, the next day exploring Sandusky, Ohio and then I said to my husband, "Why don't we go see Ann Arbor?" So we did. We packed up and drove to Ann Arbor, MI. We stopped along the way at the zoo in Toledo, OH. On our final day of adventures, my husband and I went into the Big House and honestly, it was amazing! The husband ran onto the field and posed on the 'M' at the 50-yard line. It was fun and it was us and I loved it.

5. If you could have any job in the world regardless of money, degree or experience, which job would you have and why?
Well, I'm currently pursuing this question! I'm working towards my nursing degree. Here they only offer the associates, so I plan to finish that and immediately start on my RN-BSN. I'd like to have my master's by the time I'm 35, or at least begin on my master's by the time I'm 35. Those are my educational goals for the next 10&1/2 years.

A Photo Of Me! {Day 5}

2010-09-23T18:20:00.000-05:00

I'm a day behind because after putting Babe to bed at 6:45, it took me three hours to type six sentences for my english class. Oh yes, I'm in that kind of class where you know that your instructor is in lurve with her red pen and super, super critical. Seriously, I'm not looking forward to my next few 500 word essays. So, I'm day behind and I figured I would go ahead and post today's meme topic today.

Today is a 2-for-1 kind of day. Who's feeling lucky now?

Today is Day 5 : A photo of yourself from two years ago.

I'm so guilty for taking photos the self-protrait photos for Myspace. For those of you unfamiliar with Myspace, it was the old social networking site, before they opened up Facebook to the general public and allowed anyone and everyone to create an account.

Anyhow, back to the photo. I took one of those photos. You know the one ... you shower, do your hair and makeup and snap away 130 photos for one great shot to put up as your profile picture.

Yep. I don't do that anymore, but when the husband was deployed and the baby was an actual baby that slept for two-thirds of the day - you get bored.

Hello, slight cleavage in this photo!

The Bestie. {Day 4}

2010-09-23T08:25:00.002-05:00

Today is Day 4 : Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

There are a few people in my life that I have been blessed enough to call them best friends. I know, without a doubt, I could tell them something without fear of judgment or that I sound stupid. There's a sense of "home" in each one of them because they get me. There's no pretending to be one way or another around them. They get that while I'm bitchy most days, I'm also very sensitive. I get annoyed a lot, but it quickly goes out the window after a five minute rant. They get that I'm a super nervous passenger in cars and have slight cases of road rage. Okay, I might be fibbing on the slight case, but whatev. They get that I'm absolutely decisive on being undecided on most issues. My best friends and I may not always see eye to eye on things {politics, sports teams, how awesome I am 24/7} but they get me. There is no need to have to explain myself, my intentions, and that, I wouldn't trade.

I most definitely could say that my husband is a best friend ... but I jabber about him on a general basis so, let's go to my other Bestie.

Sarah

Isn't that just the prettiest face, ever? She's rather mean-muggin' in that photo, but that's the way I like her. Snarky at it's finest. I actually hate when she's nice. Being nice is overrated when we're together. Also, I'm pretty sure I have received this "look" multiple times throughout our friendship, but she puts up with me. She calls my bluffs and keeps me in line when keeping me in line is necessary. We met under uncomfortable circumstances, but after a few days of my awesomeness, she was hooked and it's been pretty much bliss since then.

The Army has since come along and decided to relocate to me Lousyana and her husband decided to enjoy some civilian peace of mind and they relocated to Arizona. We were fortunate enough to meet up for lunch in Michigan this past Christmas after 8 long months apart. My heart misses her most days, as there isn't any one in this world that I think I could meet that could measure up to the friendship I have always felt I shared with Sarah, near or far. There's something about your Bestie just being a 10 minute drive away to now being 18 hours away. I'm really hoping that the cards work out in my favor and I'm able to fly out and see her our birthday weekend (our birthdays are two days apart - mine is first, because I'm just a tad more awesome) and see her.

The greatest thing about Sarah, is that no matter how long we spend apart or how long it goes between BlackBerry messenger chats, we fall right back into the ease that our friendship has always been. Like I said, there is a feeling of home when I'm with her.

Perfect First Date. {Day 3}.

2010-09-21T08:25:00.005-05:00

Today is Day 3 : Your idea of the perfect first date.

I really don't have an exact idea of a perfect first date. Perhaps a date that you really, really don't want to end that includes really great conversation, laughs and just general good butterflies. And perhaps a dollar from something that they paid for kept for almost 7 years ...

I will tell you about a not-so perfect first date that really happened. I know that's not what this post is really about, but it gives me something actually write.

My parents wouldn't let me date-date until I was 16. Let's just say the boys weren't knocking down my door, so it really didn't bother me that they wouldn't allow me to date until I was 16. I have since "grown into my own" face/body. Those damn awkward years ... My mom also told me I wasn't allowed to shave my legs until I was 13, but there was no way I was going to wait that long with hairy legs. I'm pretty sure it was her attempt to not have anyone date me. So, I started shaving my legs around 10ish after I hurt my leg in gym class and the coach was afraid to touch my leg due to the hairiness. I'm just thankful it was blonde. Wow, way to get off subject. And as you can see, I'm not bitter about those years at all.

SO, back to my first date ever story. Looking back on it now, I should have totally seen this date as precursor of what would come in the following months I spent actually dating him.

My friend and I went on a double-date with her boyfriend and his friend. I had met his friend a time or two before and thought he was cute {again looking back on it, WTF was I thinking? Ugh.} Apparently this guy was really nervous. It had been months since his last relationship - or hell, date for that matter - and I was just so smoking hot that you know, he was nervous. He wouldn't eat anything at dinner because his stomach was in knots. His friend finally got him to take a bite of pizza, but that was it. He barely touched his water. Whatever, I got a free meal out of it! So, my friend and I excused ourselves to the ladies room while they paid for dinner and we agreed to meet them outside. As we walk outside, he's in front of the car, doubled-over dry heaving. Ah, yes, how mother effin' romantic. I was concerned and asked him if he was sick or coming down with something, but he just shook his head. Finally we got in the car, to which he promptly opened the door and threw up a little. AWESOME.

I didn't talk to him for a month after that and then for several months after that it was communication strictly by phone and email for a while. He explained to me in the following weeks it was because he was super nervous. Which, I totally began to understand because he was the type of person that didn't do things outside his comfort zone, because he liked being in control of predictable situations. Makes sense now, but at that moment, not so much.

Probably one of the worst first dates ever in my extremely short list of first dates.

Whatca Eatin'? {Day 2}

2010-09-20T19:57:00.001-05:00

Today is Day 2 : A photo of something you ate today.

Well, I meant to take pictures of my delicious food and beverages all day long, but seeing as my camera on my phone is currently busted and I didn't have my digital camera with me while I was scarfing down my food ... we have no actual pictures. Unless, you consider my after dinner snack it :

Those damn freezer pops are my lifesavers. I have a horrendous sweet tooth and these tend to hold me over without consuming 5 million calories, which I've been known to do.

But a rundown of the things I consumed today :

Breakfast : Venti pumpkin spice latte with nonfat milk and no foam.

Lunch : A cup&1/2 of chili with a handful of Frito chips and a sprinkle of shredded cheese.

Snack : A box of raisins.

Dinner : 2 corn dogs

I know that doesn't sound very nutritious, and to be honest, it isn't. But, I'm still getting over a crappy sickie bug and do not feel like eating that much nor spending actual time and effort on my food. I've also had 64 ounces of water so far and I'm about make a cup of peppermint tea, while eating another freezer pop and ruining my brain on the massive amounts of hours that were recorded on my DVR while I spent the last few weeks doing homework and studying.

A Photo Of Myself & My Day. {Day 1}

2010-09-19T19:24:00.004-05:00

Today is Day 1 : A photo of yourself and a description on how your day was.

So, this is a photo of me, taken by photo booth on my Mac, while sitting on my bed which moonlights as a bedesk :

My bedesk currently looks like the following picture during nap & bed times around here for the little mister :

I wish I could leave it like this, but my child would take a pure delight in the highlighters by coloring. I love my bedesk {bed/desk} and I'm not sure where the husband intends on sleeping once he gets home. He normally sleeps on the left side {looking at the picture} of the bed, where the printout of your tarsal bones {but looks suspiciously like a printout of a penis in this picture} is. I'm pretty sure my bedesk is going to get vetoed and I will be moving to the playroom area at night in a couple of weeks. Blast.

Picture of the tarsal bones printout to prove I WAS studying the damn bones of the feetsies :

So my day ...

Let's see. I had made muffins last night since I already had the oven heated from making cookies for a study break. After reheating them and wondering why the little man wasn't thrilled about breakfast, I took a bite and instantly knew. FiberOne muffins suck. That's the last time I spend that much money on a muffin mix. From now on, I'm sticking to my $0.50 packets of Martha White muffins. Which is what I made after the FiberOne catastrophe.

From there, I ignored my child in his feeble attempts to make me watch Special Agent Oso. He asked so sweetly to go watch it on my bed, so I said yes. I then climbed back into bed with him and took a very short 25 minute nap, only to be woken back up to a kid who is apparently part-ninja and rolling around on my bed.

Twitter, Facebook and the likes until I realized how long ago it was I last showered. FYI, the only thing that will entertain your kid fully when they're awake and you're attempting to shower is Dora. I'm not sure what the creators put in that show, but it's visual crack for kids. I was always against Dora until I learned of it's mystical powers over children. {As a baby shower present to all my friends in the future, I'm buying them a box set.} My kid shouts for Boots and Tico because I told him Dora was a slut and he wasn't allowed to be friends with her. Okay, I didn't say that, but she's highly irresponsible to just go exploring without parents and I wish she would wear a longer shirt, because showing your mid-drift is so '90s people, unless you're a certain pretentious and uber obnoxious girl that I had the misfortunate of knowing for a brief period some years ago. Today, I turned on Little Bear {another show that generally puts me to sleep if I ever had to watch it} and jumped in the shower. Somewhere between that and me rinsing out the shampoo in my hair, a little hand creeped into the shower and turned the temp to scalding hot. I let out a wild scream and started hopping around to escape the water. Upon hearing my Nancy Kerirgan scream, the little hand creeper was polite enough to turn it back to ice cold. You know, to help the welts that were now on my body. Morale of the story : Put Dora the Whora on if you want to take a shower and your kid is awake.

Lunch, a phone call from the husby, and study time followed that. After nappy time, we headed across town to return my redbox movie that took me two nights to watch {glad it was only $1.09 a night ... take that Blockbuster and your atrocious $5 rentals!).

Chili Frito pie is what's for dinner, while the minion was happy to eat chicken nuggets with some Frito chips. Completed the only load of laundry I could round up {bath rugs}, cleaned the kitchen and here I am ... on my bedesk, obviously putting off more studying so that I can write this post up and listen to my newest favorite band Mumford&Sons. Now that I'm finished, I'm back to trying to retain some of the 302 things I learned about the bones for my test tomorrow.

The 30-Day Meme.

2010-09-18T15:45:00.012-05:00

To help with some writing prompts due to not really know what to write about as of late, I'm going to participate in one of the 30-day memes currently floating around. I'll make a link to this page and link the day's topic.

So the 30-day meme goes like this :

Day 1 - A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

Day 2 - A photo of something you ate today.

Day 3 - Your idea of the perfect first date.

Day 4 - Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

Day 5 - A photo of yourself two years ago.

Day 6 - A photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet.

Day 7 - Your dream wedding.

Day 8 - A song to match your mood.

Day 9 - A photo of the item you last purchased.

Day 10 - A photo of your favorite place to eat.

Day 11 - What's in your makeup bag.

Day 12 - A photograph of the town you live in.

Day 13 - Your favorite musician and why?

Day 14 - A TV show you're currently addicted to.

Day 15 - Something you don't leave the house without.

Day 16 - Your celebrity crush.

Day 17 - A photo of you and your family.

Day 18 - Something you crave a lot.

Day 19 - Another picture of yourself.

Day 20 - The meaning behind your blog name.

Day 21 - A photo of something that makes you happy.

Day 22 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Day 23 - 15 facts about you.

Day 24 - A photo of something that means a lot to you.

Day 25 - What's in your purse?

Day 26 - A photo of somewhere you've been to.

Day 27 - A picture of you last year and now and how you changed since then?

Day 28 - Your favorite movie.

Day 29 - Something you could never get tired of doing.

Day 30 - A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days.

When You Think You Have It Bad.

2010-09-18T08:18:00.003-05:00

Monday a classmate and I were talking in class, going over what our other classes were like compared to the one that we were in. A little backstory on this guy. I felt like I knew him or had at least seen him around the base a few times. I couldn't place him, so in my general nice self {I am nice, sometimes} I would say 'hey' to him in passing. Well, after a few class meetings, he mentioned something about his wife and the unit she was in and I literally said, "Shit! You played softball this past spring with my husband!" I had seen this guy for months. And let's say he stood out on the softball team because he was the only guy there with groomed facial hair and all the other guys hated on him for that reason. He laughed and said, "Yeah, I was wondering why you said 'hey' to me." Ha ha. Fast forward to us talking about classes and he's telling me about a class he has to write a paper for every week. I start telling him how my english class is actually a political science class in disguise and all we talk about is the Constitution.

He remarks to me, "Man, sometimes when you think you have it bad you hear something that someone else is going through and it doesn't seem so bad," in reference to my awesome english/poli sci class.

This leads to something I talked about on Twitter.

I hate my microbiology class. The only way to take the class is online. There's no face-to-face lecture {which I really prefer with science classes!} and he's so broad on the material, you really don't know WHAT to study. I kid not when I say that my syllabus states, "Read chapters 1-6; test on September 16th." That was it. I get that this is a higher level class, but the man could have given us an outline or SOME perimeters for what type of information he was wanting us to retain about this subject. Let's just say it's going to be a long 16 weeks with many, many hours spent reading and basically copying everything into notes. Fuck. Also one of the main reasons I've been so MIA.

And then I realized that it was Friday ... {please excuse my obviously double 'today' - I blame cold meds!}

And I realized that my neighbor was flying back to awesome, shitastic Lousyana today after saying goodbye to her kids. She took this past week off from work to take her kids "home" for the duration of her upcoming deployment. I remembered last week when I was saying goodbye to them, her eldest remarked about not wanting to leave and hugged me extra tight. As a mom, it broke my heart. As a mom, I cannot even begin to fathom the emotions that she's feeling. Having to saying goodbye to her kids and missing out on their lives for an entire year. It is something that I honestly don't think I could ever do. I hate dropping my son off each day to go to class, but there is a reassurance in watching the clock tick away and knowing that I'm about to go get him and watch his face light up at the sight of me. My heart might get through that emotional pain of saying goodbye for a year, but let me tell you - there would be a scar on it forever from the ache that I know I would feel down in my soul.

It really amazes me that we didn't speak to these neighbors for the first 11 months that we lived here. Then one day her husband came over and introduced himself. In the last 6-7 months, there has been many conversations shared in our joint yard, beers yakked over and me making comments in reference to his mowing attire. In those few short months, I have realized that I have become emotionally attached to people that I see on a regular basis. I may not know every single detail about them or every major detail in their life for that matter BUT I do know that they are good people who I enjoy seeing and talking to. Good neighbors are hard to come by and I've been really, really fortunate that these last two places we have lived that we've had uh-mazing neighbors {aside from the lawnmower people}. Both of them deploy in a matter of weeks and someone {hopefully just as awesome as them} moves in.

I guess this brings me back to the point of thinking you got it bad and realizing/finding out that someone is going through something worse which makes you put your struggles/hardships into perspective.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #13.

2010-09-17T10:22:00.002-05:00

I feel like I've really disappeared as of late. Sorry, but it's probably going to be a reoccurring trend with school taking up 1/2 my time and the kidlet taking up the other 1/2.

via Wife of a Sailor

1. How do you spend your deployment money? Do you save, pay off bills or enjoy the extra money while it is there to buy the things you do not normally have?
A little bit of everything, be we mostly just save it or pay off bills {previously our car and a student loan}.

2. If you could relive one occasion or moment, what would it be?
I don't know. There are so many to choose from, for all different reasons. One that comes to mind is a day when the husband and I were sans the kidlet, living in our one-bedroom apartment as boyfriend and girlfriend, the windows were open and it was beautiful outside. We were carving pumpkins and it was just nice. I miss those more carefree days.

3. What's the worst job you ever had and if it was so bad, why did you take it?
I used to work at an Aafes gas station/shopette and it was horrible. It was during the days prior to having to pay inside or at the machine with a card. People would "call" for gas outside and then come in and pay when they were finished. It was hectic to always have to watch people, to get a good assessment of their car incase they drove off. On top of this, I had the world's worst bosses. They were these old hags who bitched and moaned all day long and nothing I ever did was appreciated. I came in the day after my prom because they needed me to work, same with some other days. When I would try and take off time, all I ever received was more bitching and moaning. I got reprimanded one time because I wasn't on the register exactly at 4 when my shift started, but rather I was just clocking in. When I would show up to count my drawer and be ready to go at 4, I never got paid for that extra time prior to my shift starting at 4. They never did this to any of the older women and that royally pissed me off. I think it was just one of those things that you have to do at 18 to realize that if you want better, you have to go get better and not settle for shit. So, I quit. I just walked out of the job and never returned after putting up with their bullshit for 3&1/2 months.

4. If you could play any character on TV, who would you be?
My favorite show ever was Felicity. I still love her character and still watch the box sets :) Oh, and to kiss Scott Speedman? Oh, yes. I have a very embarrassing picture of myself with Scott Speedman that I just cannot seem to part with. Maybe one day I'll post it!

5. If you could be the world's expert in something, what would it be?
I liked Wife of a Sailor's answer. So, I'd go with that, too.

Oklahoma!

2010-09-07T08:04:00.022-05:00

I hate going forever between blog postings. Life has gotten a bit busier than what it used to be. Right now I should be doing math homework BUT I'm putting it off for a few minutes to type this blog!

So, my husband has been gone for a minute in Oklahoma. Since I basically got a four-day break with Labor Day, I decided to go and see him for the weekend. The 8&1/2 hr drive there taught me that I'm ~~getting~~ asking for a dvd player to be installed in my car for the holidays. The portable dvd player we have just doesn't cut it when the kidlet's feet are able to kick it. We all (kiddo, Diesel & I) made it in one piece, thankfully :)

Saturday was spent with running a couple of errands and then coming back to watch Michigan's opening game of the season against UConn. We happened to kick a little tail :) Sunday morning we got up, ate breakfast and then headed out to see the bison and eat at a place called Meers. I kept talking the bison up to the kiddo on Saturday and most of Sunday morning. We drove through and saw a few. We also saw a tarantula crossing the road. *my skin just crawled* I'm not going to lie, I totally freaked out. Don't those things belong in cages? So creepy. Well, we typed in the direction for Meers into our TomTom and my husband refused to drive through the wildlife refuge twice. He just didn't want to see the same things twice. So, as we start driving a little bit out of the way to essentially double-back, I'm frustrated because he won't just turn around and then the kid starts saying, "Where's the bison?!" That's when I turned around and said, "Sorry kiddo, you only get to see the bison once. We'll look at pictures online. Trust me, it's the same." The husby knew I was right and just started to laugh. We were lucky enough to see a big herd of them when we double-backed.

He said he could hear the ocean :)

Someone got lucky that we were able to see more bison.

After lunch, we headed back to the hotel room to freshen up for my date with Caitlin and her husband. To say that I had fun would not even begin to explain how awesome I think Caitlin is (&Cliff, too!). When I got to Okla on Friday, the husby kept reminding me of my approaching date with Caitlin. He had met them for dinner twice, so this meet up was no sweat to him. Myself, on the other hand, I felt like I was gearing up for a blind date and was so nervous! Like, butterflies in my stomach nervous. Anyhoo, our date was -awesome-, besides the kidlet making dinner a nightmare. Totally our fault. We always let him excuse himself from the table if he doesn't want to eat and go play. Yeah, that doesn't work so well in a restaurant while trying to eat. BUT he redeemed himself when we stopped at this awesome frozen yogurt place. He got to play and run around and was his adorable, lovable self.

Yes, you can hire my husband for his photography skillz

This is my favorite picture, ever.

Sadly, I had to pack the kiddo, dog and myself up on Monday morning and drive back to Lousyana. I was so sad. I know Ft. Sill gets a bad rap BUT if people HAD to live in a town that you have to drive 50 miles to get a steak dinner or to be able to shop at Tar-jay/a mall, you learn to appreciate what a city does offer instead of what it doesn't offer. When I say that the only thing this town offers is a Super Walmart, I'm not kidding. SO, I tweeted :

True story!

I had an amazing Labor Day weekend! And I promise to write a little more often :)

I'm Blessed.

2010-08-26T09:42:00.002-05:00

This is how I know that I have a great partner, not just husband in life ...

I woke up to this little love note in my email this morning :

I am very happy you are getting to go back to school. I totally understand that you need to study and I will do everything I can when I get home to make your day as easy as possible so you can succeed. I love you more than anything and will support you to my best ability.

Seriously, I'm pretty lucky to have someone that wants me to succeed and will do everything they can to make sure I do.

I hope everyone has a great day!

I'm Overdue.

2010-08-24T20:14:00.002-05:00

Sort of like my library books that I keep meaning to return. You think they'll notice my son's handiwork in that? Jen, you didn't see that!

So, for those that are not privy to my awesome Twitter/Facebook news :

I've started back to school :) Full-time! WTF was I thinking? Ha ha.

After a three-year hiatus, I decided I needed to do something for myself. I love being my husband's wife and my son's mother - but I wanted something that was strictly mine. Something that I'm doing for myself, rather than for anyone else around me.

I'm still trying to learn a routine in the morning for getting myself ready, breakfast made, Babe ready, lunches packed, backpacks packed and getting out the door on time. I know the key to this is making myself get out of bed before Babe wakes up, BUT I haven't mastered that yet.

So far my likes include :

Making flash cards. Really, I'm a nerd.
Lunch time in the student lounge. I love packing my lunch and looking around and judging everyone for their unhealthy, fast food crap. I feel smug knowing that I'm eating healthy and spent little money to do so.
Not being the oldest person in my class.

My dislikes would be :

Having to say goodbye to my little man.
There is no bathroom in one of the buildings I'm in. I have to walk "across" campus. And by across campus I mean over to the next building.
My one online class, that I'm taking, has nothing posted. Not even an introduction from the instructor.

I'm still sizing up my classmates. An 18 y/o sat down next to me today and made friends. My piece of advice to her, "Don't get drunk. Stay focused and you won't hate yourself six years from now." She basically asked to my best friend after that.

I Love This.

2010-08-14T16:06:00.000-05:00

This video is being passed around Facebook and finally, someone posted an actual YouTube link so that I could steal it and post it on my blog.

This feeling never gets old.
And it never leaves your body, heart or soul on how you felt that day when you were finally back in the arms of your loved one.

Also, the kids in this video ... there are no words for what military children go through.

Enjoy! And grab some tissues.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #8.

2010-08-13T08:35:00.004-05:00

Happy Friday the 13th!

via Wife of a Sailor

1. What is ONE thing you'd like civilians to understand about being a military family?

I have no clue what to put here. Sepsi had a really great answer. I guess I don't try to make people "understand" because our burdens are different than those of outside the military. I don't try to compare or say, "I've got it worse than you" with them because to them, what they're going through is hard on their life. That's just me though.

2. What is your favorite mistake?

Smoking. I smoked for a year, year & half. I say this because the first time I ever really got to hang out with my bestie, Sarah - it was when we were smoking on a bench outside of Tar-jay. Over the first year of our friendship, we had a lot of long talks while smoking. I wouldn't change that mistake for anything :)

3. What indulgence could you give up for a year?

Soda. I'm currently going without it right now and I plan to continue to go without it. Coffee is a whole different story. I could and would cut someone without my cup of coffee in the morning.

4. If you could be a winged animal, what would you be?

A bald eagle, because they're absolutely beautiful. Plus, it would be ILLEGAL to kill me :)

5. What is one question you'd like to see asked in a future MMF?

I occasionally watch When I Was 17 ... on MTV. So, "What was something that was significant about your 17th year of life?"

I'm Pretty Sure It's Genetic.

2010-08-12T09:02:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I wrote about my kid and his funniness. Well, it's not a stretch to say that he gets it from his father.

This is me trying to get my husband to take a picture together while out on our anniversary date at the end of July.

I kicked him for messing this one up because it was such a good picture of me!

Since I couldn't get him to take a real picture outside, I decided for us to just go on in and watch our movie. While I was off getting us a drink, he decided to take some pictures of himself.

His mouth, upside down.
Perhaps, abstract photography?

He took a picture of something and it came out looking like a nipple.

FINALLY! A decent picture of us :)

I love him. And I really love that our son has his sense of humor.

We celebrated 5 years of marriage on July 30th <3!

He's My Little Loverbug.

2010-08-11T08:57:00.002-05:00

This is one of those posts were I write about my kid.

Feel free to move along, because this definitely falls into that, "a mom bragging about her son because no kid could possibly be better than her kid" category.

As a mom, I'm constantly watching my son grow up. There are times that I look at him and wonder who and what he'll become. I don't have any real expectations set for him right now. Yes, my husband and I agree on encouraging him to get into some kind of club/sport. Something that I had always wished I had the chance to do as a child, but two working parents who lived very far away from our school didn't allow that. I'm not really that bitter anymore. And we expect him to try his best with his studies. Something that both of us strongly believe in.

He doesn't spew a ginormous category and talk in complete and coherent sentences and he hasn't solved world hunger, yet. But what he does is seriously make me laugh. He's very observant and mimics things after seeing us do them once. He's patient and will wait you out. He purses his lips when he knows he's done something wrong. And he knows the fastest way to my heart is when he grabs my face in his little hands and says, "Momma, want kiss?"

We have a sinking suspicion that our son is going to be a class clown. He is the goofiest child and is always trying to get Mr. Amazing and I to laugh with his antics. He has this amazing, infectious laugh that catches my heart every time and makes me fall in love with being a mom, yet again.

His favorite words are "stuck" and "help". He apparently gets "stuck" in everything. I really, really love when he's running around the house and just stops and yells "STTUUUUCCCCCKKKK!" at the top of his lungs and than it's followed with lots of "HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPP!'s" Child, just pick your foot up already.

I especially love his new obsession of locking me outside while talking to the neighbor or on the phone {as AT&T sucks here and you cannot talk inside your house without hopping on one leg, holding a whisk in your right hand at a 87-degree angle and with one eye shut}. The other day I stepped outside to ask our lawn care people if they could weed eat my back yard, as they hadn't for almost a month. While I was talking to him, I heard a very distinct sound of a dead bolt sliding into place. Damn! So, I start knocking on the door, hoping that he'll unlock it, nope. After shaking the door violently and asking him to open it, I gave up and went around to our back door where he could see me. For about 2 minutes I knocked and he knocked back while laughing. Yeah, that was not working. Finally, I demonstrated where the lock was and said, "Hey - you want to go outside?" Worked like a charm, because he finally unlocked it.

Brought his basket {that we stole from his uncle} on our bed
&& dragging the remote underneath it.

Not sure if he's practicing his MacGyver skills OR he
thinks he's a POW in this house?

When I have those days that I feel like I'm going to need a big bottle of wine at the end of them, somehow just holding him in my arms while we watch Nemo or Cats & Dogs for the 100th time together - it carries all the troubles away.

Ahem, Dear Neighbor.

2010-08-09T14:14:00.004-05:00

I had another blog that I had wanted to write today, but that's going to have to wait because shit is about to hit the fan.

Dear Inconsiderate Neighbor,

I believe that I'm a rather patient neighbor. I try to be considerate of those around me and I try to give my neighbors the benefit of doubt most times. I mean, if my dog goes out barking at any time of the day - I do the appropriate and tell him to shut up. One thing that I have absolutely no tolerance for, while living in a tightly packed community, are stereo systems. Absolutely none.

I don't mind them when I'm out driving and someone is cruising around listening to their system. I turn the other cheek when someone pulls up behind me with their stereo is blasting at such a volume it's rattling my insides because I am understanding of others {for the most part}.

BUT when you live in a community of duplexes packed next to duplexes of people, what makes you think that it's okay to have your thumping music cranked? What makes you think that it's okay for you to sit in your car - no matter what time it is, but especially at night - and listen to your music?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC?!?!

They don't. I like being asleep most nights by 10, so if you come cruising through the neighborhood at 10:30 and sit in your SUV while you listen to your music thumping and booming away, please understand why my patience has worn very thin for you. As a matter of fact, I no longer have any patience when it comes to you and your music. I get that you have to pack things up and take them back to work after PT and after lunch, but could you possibly turn your system off while you have all your doors/gate lift open? Really? I mean, how hard is that? Are you fucking incompetent and think that everyone is this neighborhood keeps the hours you keep AND appreciates your music? If you're wondering the answers are NO and FUCKING NO.

Your days are number. Be aware that if you come through this neighborhood again tonight like you have for the last couple of nights OR you open all your doors and leave them open for 10 minutes again, I'm coming over. I was going to write you a note in a very passive aggressive manner and leave it on your windshield, not now. I plan to march on over and give you a piece of my mind. Here's some earth shattering advice : TURN YOUR SHIT DOWN, OR OFF, UPON ENTERING THE COMMUNITY.

Sincerely,

Your neighbor who's patience has been worn thin

Honey-Chipotle Chicken.

2010-08-08T19:00:00.000-05:00

I live for the honey-chipotle chicken crispers at Chili's. Seriously, I could eat that super fattening meal every. single. day. However, with it topping 2000 calories, my waist line and my heart would give out.

Anyhow, I've been craving honey-chipotle chicken for the last couple of days, so I improvised.

Ingredients :

2 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce

2-3 tbsp of honey

8oz of chicken, diced

I bought a can of chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, took two peppers out and food processed them until the peppers were bits.

Next, I added the chipotle pepper bits to the honey in a small sauce pan and cooked the sauce over a medium heat for about 5-7 minutes. Mixing occasionally to blend the flavors.

While that was cooking, I diced up 8oz of chicken and began cooking it in a frying pan over medium heat.

After the honey-chipotle mixture was heated throughly, I added half of it to the chicken and reserved the other half. Finish cooking chicken and drain.

The chicken could be served with rice, over rice or in chicken quesadillas.

For the chicken quesadillas :

Flour tortilla of your choice {I use a whole wheat, burrito size}

1/3 cup of Mexican blend cheese

2oz of honey-chipotle chicken mixture

Honey-chipotle sauce

Butter

Pepper, if desired

I heat my griddle up on med-high heat.

While it's heating up, I butter both sides of my tortilla. Once griddle is heated, I cook the tortilla on one side for about 3-5 minutes. I don't want it crispy, but I wanted it toasted. Flip over.

I than taking a basting brush and brush some honey-chipotle sauce on the entire tortilla. I spread the cheese on half of the tortilla, sprinkle the chicken over the cheese, and then shake some pepper on top of the chicken and cheese. Finally, I fold the other half on top. Cook it for 3-5 minutes, flip over and cook for an additional 2-3 minutes.

So good :)

Getting To Know Me.

2010-08-08T14:52:00.002-05:00

via here

1. Do you think mustaches are sexy?

Not particularly. I'm more of a beard gal. The mustache alone though ... not a fan.

2. What's the last concert you've been to?

Rascal Flatts with my bestie, Sarah.

3. What was your favorite 80's sitcom?
I've changed my answer. I originally posted :

I technically only lived 3 years in the 80's {86-89} and I can tell you I remember nothing from those years. I do watch reruns of Golden Girls from time to time.
But after further review, it's The Cosby Show. Seriously, one of the funniest shows of all time. I really loved the episode that Theo got his ear pierced. So freakin' hilarious.
And Roseanne, because there are a lot of similarities between that show and my family :)

4. Were you named after anyone?

Yes, my middle name is in honor my great-grandparents on my dad's side.

5. When you buy new clothes, do you wash before wearing?

Underwear and bras are always washed. Gross. But jeans, shirts and the likes - no, I'll wear them without washing first.

6. If you didn't blog, what would you do with your spare time?

Nap. I like napping.

7. What is your favorite department store?

Target and American Eagle.

8. If you were to get laser hair removal ... where would you get it?
Under my arms, but I don't mind shaving. It makes me feel like I'm preening myself for my mate ;)

Rambles, I'm Sure.

2010-08-07T21:04:00.000-05:00

I'm due for a blog post. I know this and that's why I'm writing it right now.

About those pictures I was going to post. Well, I'd have to take them first and I'm being extremely lazy after my very productive weekend last weekend. Yeah ... it takes a gal like me that long to recover from being proactive. Also, the kiddo killed the battery taking snap shots of everything. He actually got a few really good shots. I wonder if he has a future in photography?

Last night I downed a batch of cookies. It wasn't pretty. It started when Sespi started tweeting about making my most favorite cookies ever. I could not stop thinking about them. I knew I had all the ingredients on hand, so I made some. Worst. idea. ever. because I ate pretty much half of the cookies last night. Major FAIL.

Also last night, the husband met up with THE Caitlin, her husband, CJ, and CJ's best friend for dinner last night. Caitlin kept me in the loop by texting me throughout the dinner. When she told me they were telling fart stories, I thought he was telling the stories. So, I immediately called him and said, "Why are you telling farting stories?" in my awesome 'don't embarrass me before I have chance to embarrass myself' voice. Caitlin texts me back and tells me that it was her husband and friend telling the husby the stories. Whoosh. <-- Big sigh of relief. I gave the husband strict orders to behave and be nice, because he's known for not behaving, making things awkward and telling inappropriate stories. I mean, if it went badly there was no future for Caitlin and I. Lucky for me, CJ & his friend did all the embarrassing talk for me. Thanks, guys! :)

The husband also knows how picky I am when it comes to friends. He called me after dinner to let me know that he liked both Caitlin and CJ and that he thinks I would really like Caitlin. Sweet! Nothing like my husband going on the first blind date with my IBF for me :) Now, I have plans to come up over the long Labor Day weekend and spend some time with the husband and see Caitlin a few days later. I'm stoked and really looking forward to it. I'm excited to meet my favorite internet ~~stalker~~ best friend that I text, tweet and email with pretty much daily. No worries Caitlin, I've got the whole skinning thing out of my system!

What else is new ....

I bought new glasses! Exciting, right?

My glasses that I have had for the past four years {that I loved more than ANYTHING} broke. I was pretty devasted. After I found some contacts, I asked the optical store 1. If they could fix my frames and 2. See if they were still available to order if they could not fix them. The answers were : No and no. Argh. I loved these frames, a lot. It took me a while to pick them out and because I loved them so much and wasn't able to ever find a pair to replace them, I just updated my lenses every year as needed. I went to the store and found a few pairs that I thought were okay, but couldn't decide on. So, I drug the husband out to help me and he picked the new pair for me. Makes sense, since he'll be the one looking at me most often.

Loved these glasses :

Adjusting to these :

They're growing on me. It's just such a big change from my metal lovelies to the thicker rims.

I'll have a more organized post on other shenanigans later. Promise!

My Famous Chicken Pasta.

2010-08-04T19:44:00.002-05:00

This recipe post is for Mey.

And this is my "if you come over for dinner, I'm going to make you this dish" because I love it that much and never get tired of making it and ~~eating~~ devouring in less than 5 minutes.

Ingredients:

2/3rd to 1lb of chicken {12-16oz}, diced

1 large {at least 26oz} can of spaghetti sauce {I prefer Del Monte's Traditional spaghetti sauce}

1 box of penne pasta

Oregano

Garlic Salt

2 cups mozzarella cheese

Recipe:

- Start by bringing a pot of water to boil. Simultaneously, start cooking diced chicken in frying pan over medium heat, sprinkle with as much oregano and garlic salt as you'd prefer.
- Add pasta to boiling water and cook according to directions - approx. 9 minutes.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Take about two to three tablespoons of the spaghetti sauce and coat the bottom of a 13x9 baking dish.
- Drain chicken and let sit while pasta finishes cooking. Sprinkle the cooked chicken in baking dish. Drain cooked pasta and pour over chicken. Top with remaining spaghetti sauce, cover with aluminum foil and bake for 20 minutes.
- When the timer goes off, remove aluminum foil sprinkle mozzarella cheese and put back in oven for another 8-10 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly.

Once finished cooking, pull it out and let it rest for about 5-10 minutes.

Enjoy!

When it's just me, I bake this only with 2/3rd of the boxed pasta, about 6-8oz of chicken and 1 cup of mozzarella cheese in a 8x8 dish. I still buy the same size spaghetti sauce and just throw away the extra that I don't use. I use about two-thirds of the can.

Apologies.

2010-08-01T00:34:00.000-05:00

I've been rather lazy and slacking on the posts lately. I mean, I've been wondering the same things apparently since the 18th. I know, lame.

Don't despair, I have a picture blog that will be posted at some point on Sunday. You know, the one that you post when you suck at posting an actual blog. It'll be here later today at some point. I just have to, you know ... take the pictures.

I'd take them now, but I'm enjoying some laziness after my mad organizing/decluttering skills I've been cracking down on the last few days. Apparently after a year and a half of opening a cluttered drawer and having to dig through it to find a damn high lighter, you will go a little insane and start decluttering your entire house. I've never decluttered in my life and somehow at 24, I finally got the bug to do it. True story : I come from a family that is pretty decent at pack ratting it. We're not hoarders, but when you have a shirt from the year 1997 and you still wear it because it reminds you of sixth grade? You may have problems with emotional attachment to items. Just sayin'.

P.S. That person is me && I'll be sure to post a picture of said awesome shirt from ~~sixth grade~~ 1997.

What I'm Wondering Today.

2010-07-18T20:23:00.001-05:00

Another meme :) Let's just say its meme Sunday :)

This one is by one of my newest favorite reads : Mel @ Head in the game. Heart in the sand.

What I'm Wondering Today

1. What's the best job you've ever held? The worst?
The best job I ever had was when I worked at a movie theater, both times. Once as a concession-ist and another as an assistant manager. I loved everything about that job. Sadly, it didn't work out because the general manager and I didn't always see eye-to-eye and therefore he let me go.
The worst job ever was at this shoppette on post. The worse. Not only were all the bosses old and crabby, it was back in the day where people could pay after pumping their gas. So all day long you heard this beeping that went off when someone requested 'gas'. Drove me insane. One day I grabbed all my stuff, left for a break and never came back. It was awesome.

2. Do you work best in groups of individually?
I am more productive alone, but I have much more fun in groups. Hello, I'm a talker {once I get to know you} and the time always passes so much more quickly!

3. Do you believe you get paid (or were paid, if the job is past tense) what you're worth?
I get hugs and kisses and laughter all day long. Definitely paid for what I'm worth :)

4. Do you prefer a job that is lucrative, rewarding or challenging? (Only pick one!)
I prefer rewarding. I like to see what I'm doing has a positive impact on those around me. And although I can only pick one, I would say my future aspirations of being a nurse is not only challenging but very much rewarding :)

5. Tell an interesting work-related story.
Hmm, an interesting story. After I broke up with my first serious boyfriend, I eyed this one guy at the movie theater I worked with. We always flirted, so one night after work we started kissing in my car. I guess my parents were worried because I wasn't home on time and called the theater looking for me. That's when my boss walked out in the parking lot, saw my car and peeked inside. The bosses ragged me about it all. the, time. at work. Ahh yes, the good ole days of being 17.

Getting To Know Me.

2010-07-18T13:22:00.000-05:00

I need a break from blogging about the heaviness going on around here. So, something simple on a Sunday ... just the way I prefer my Sundays.

via MannLand5

1. If you had to choose a country to live in besides the US, which would it be?
Germany. We had hopes to be stationed there when my husband reenlisted last go around, but because they told us that it would be for a deployment numbers only and then we would be relocated to Ft. Bliss after the deployment, we decided to forgo that. I'm not a fan of Texas and I definitely do not want to live/be stationed at Fort Bliss. Granted, it's probably a teeny bit better than Louisiana.

2. Which would be worse, wearing flip flops in the snow or wearing gloves in the summer?
Flips flops in the snow, because I have and it was awful. I thought I was going to lose my toes to frostbite.

3. Fried or Bake and why?
Being from the South, I'm fully accustomed to fried foods. BUT after seeing that they deep-fry everything {oreos, snicker bars, etc} here, I'm disgusted. In actuality, I think my fried foods consist of strictly french fries.

4. If you were an entertainment reporter, which celeb would you love to interview and why?
Eric Bana because he's hot. Is there a need for any other reason?

5. What was your favorite book as a preteen/teenager?
Behind the Attic Wall by Sylvia Cassedy. The book is about a girl who discovers a whole different world behind the attic wall of her boarding school because she's lonely and needs friends. I just related to this book not because I needed friends, but because a certain part of me felt isolated from my peers in that phase in life where you're trying to figure out who you may want to be and the transition from a child.

6. List your top 3 guilty pleasure television shows.
They're not guilty pleasure because I take no guilt in watching them.
1. 16&Pregnant/Teen Mom - these are text dates with my friend Caitlin.
2. Big Brother - I spent summers watching this with my bestie, Sarah and now with my husband. This show makes the summer go by faster.
3. ABC Family shows : Secret Life of an American Teenager, Greek, Huge, Pretty Little Liars, Make It or Break it. I know, that's more than three but I'm addicted to all these shows because they're wonderful and suck me in.

7. What bumper sticker slogan best describes you/your attitude/your life?
I saw an awesome bumper stick yesterday : "Race day strategy : Start off slow and then back off"
I just love that.

8. If you were to join a circus - what performer would you be?
I would ride on the elephants simply because it's cool to say, "I ride on the elephants." Or be blowen out of a cannon. Hello, thrill ride.

I'm Here.

2010-07-17T00:55:00.002-05:00

Mom, if you read this {which I hope you don't, but I know you will} please just tuck it away in your brain. It's not something I want to dissect and discuss.

Everyone else, this is long and there is some rambling. I tend to be a pretty private person, but I decided I need to open up about this because I'm tired of the mini-breakdowns I've been having over the last few days about this situation.

I hate giving up. I absolutely hate walking away. I hate giving those 'second chances' fifty times. I'm not sure when I'm going to learn that I cannot expect anything from anyone other than what I can give to people? I'm not sure. I'm not sure how many times I have to feel like an asshole for allowing people to make me feel a certain way about myself. I'm not sure how many times I'm going to be the one who ends up with the hurt feelings.

I sometimes feel like I'm looking through a window into someone else's life, because this cannot be my life. Everything that I loved and cherished cannot have been stripped away and hidden, only to be disguised with a person that I don't know anymore. That the laughter is filled with a sense of dread and hurt. Where the smiles are faked and the hugs are disingenuous. Nope - that cannot be what I'm looking at. If only it were a window instead of a mirror.

For those wanting or those that are curious to a background of what I'm about to talk about, you can go here. The abbreviated version is that my parents split in October, signed divorce papers late-January and I've only seen my dad twice since coming home from Tennessee in October. My dad, well he was my entire world throughout my first 23 years of life. Every person I ever met, I compared to my father. My world, so much like my father's, was simply black and white. There were no gray areas, there was no understanding, compassion, sympathy or empathy for people who did stupid stuff in their lives or annoyed me. Black and white is how I have lived majority of my life. I grew up in the shadow of my father, always his little girl. For Christmas one year, I begged my parents for an ID bracelet with the engraving, "Daddy's little girl." My entire life, I'd basically put my hands on my hips when my mom tried to discipline me and tell her, "I'm daddy's sweet honey baby." There was no fear with her, because I knew my dad always had my back.

I wish I could say that other than my parents not physically being together anymore that this divorce hasn't deeply effected me. But, there this emotional pain that sometimes cannot be describe. If I stop for a moment too long to think about it, I'm in tears. After my parents divorced, my dad moved to a town 3 hours away from where my husband and I live for a new job. I was so excited to be that close to my dad. I had all these hopes that we would see each other at least once a month, hopes created by my own father's words. Promises to visit often and see his only grandson. I was excited to be closer than 12 or 18 hours from family. Like I said earlier, I've seen my dad twice. He came to my son's second birthday and he watched our dog while we were in New Orleans for the weekend. Since March 1st, I've barely heard from him and I haven't seen him.

I don't know who my dad is these days, but he certainly isn't my daddy anymore. Every plan I have tried to schedule with him, he's canceled on the day before or the morning of and one time, he didn't even cancel - we were just left hanging. And every time I try to schedule something with him to see him and give him a hug, I get my hopes up only to be absolutely smashed. Last night was my final withdraw from this situation. I'm so overwhelming hurt by my dad's actions and the only one to blame for me feeling this way is me. Every time I get canceled on, I feel as if a little more of that first 23 years of life has died.

There are people that will roll their eyes at this and wonder what the big deal is - I mean, he's still alive right? Yes and no. I feel as if the man I knew before last October is slowly dying. A part of my heart that was always special and belonged to just my dad dies a little bit more each time I'm rejected and cast aside. My dad was always someone I could count on before I even got the question out of my mouth. There was never any hesitation on his part to jump into action the moment I asked for something. That was just the kind of relationship we had. Now, I can barely get him to answer the phone without leaving a long, detailed voicemail and a follow-up text message. Now, when I ask him to be with me on important occasions {or that he's promised to never miss}, he's no where to be found.

I know that I'm an adult and that what I may expect from him is that of a little child depending on their father, but it's more than that. My dad was always considered one of my best friends. My sounding board, the one I pulled a lot of my personality traits from, and most definitely, he was my rock. Now, he's none of that. He's just a regular person to me. He's just someone who makes me feel rejected for wanting to be loved, for wanting to spend time with him, for wanting more than what our relationship is right now.

There are so many emotions swarming around inside me right now. I'm angry at myself for believing in something that I knew was not going to happen {the last 4&1/2 months are solid proof of that}. I'm frustrated because I feel like if we live this close and this is as much effort as he puts into seeing us, than what's going to happen when we PCS again? I'm drained because I keep trying. And I'm sad because I no longer rank as something important in my dad's life anymore.

I just don't know how much energy I can continue to put into this. I know I'm not ready to walk away, but I'm just not walking forward anymore.

**If you comment and suggest that I try talking to my dad about this, please know that I've tried. I've put all my emotions out there and he's just the type of person that believes you should deal with something yourself or get over it. Like I said, he really has no pity, sympathy or empathy for others.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In!

2010-07-16T11:12:00.000-05:00

I'm participating this week. There's a lot of emotions going on this week and let's just say I ate four pounds of it last night. Stop judging me.

via Wife of a Sailor

1. What food reminds you of your spouse?
Polish food since my husband is of Polish decent. I only get little bits of Polish food when we visit family in Michigan, so when we went to Houston around Thanksgiving last year, I looked up an authentic Polish restaurant for us to go to while in town. It was delicious!

2. Who would you rather sit next to in a cross-country plane ride : an irritating non-stop talker or a quiet stare-er?
Depends if that irritating non-stop talker was talking about something interesting or not. Interesting as in they're telling me all their fabulous family drama :) I think though, I'd rather have someone just stare at me.

3. What's your best tips on how to save money?
First we read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover book and we live by a budget. We budget for our all our fixed expenses {car, cable, cell phone, electricity, etc} along with non-fixed {husband's hair cut money & lunch money, gas money, groceries and spending money}. Everything else goes towards making additional car payments. And we do not have credit cards. Every time my husband gets a raise/bonus or we get a tax-return, we immediately take that money and pay any type of bill we may have, off. Our motto is we've already budgeted and live without that extra money, so why even act like we have it now?

4. What is your favorite summer memory?
Besides my wedding in 2005, nothing is coming to mind. I'm not a huge fan of summer.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Absolutely. My favorite little memory that has nothing to do with ghosts is the time that my bestie, Sarah and I were messing around on the Ouija board and it kept spelling, "F**k you" and then my husband buzzed me on yahoo messenger and we grabbed each other and screamed. This was all at 2-3am in the morning and I had upstairs neighbors. So funny.

Sometimes, I'm An Asshole.

2010-07-15T10:59:00.002-05:00

I really can be sometimes. I forget to do a lot of things. Like mail stuff out ... stuff that Cailtin and Nicole have been pretty patient about me mailing to them. Especially since both things are on my counter and all I have to do is go drop them in the mail box down the street. The same mailbox I pass driving in and out of the complex. Most would call that lazy, but I just call it being me. Don't worry, I do this to family all year long. It's generally a new year's resolution that I forget around April when there's 30 people in both families celebrating birthdays.

Anyhow, an asshole needs people that get them. And let's say, I happen to have pretty great friends that do just that.

I have my Facebook feed set to only display the people that I normally talk to on a daily/weekly basis. I know that I really need to go into my account and delete a lot of people, but I haven't. This has lead me to forgetting and not seeing a lot of things. My friend messaged me last night saying that she hid a certain person and forgot about them being on her friend's list, so she unhid the person only to re-hide the person two days later after the person got on her nerves again. This got me to thinking about the many people that I don't see because they do not show up in my daily 'lovelies' feed anymore. In particular, someone gave birth a few weeks back and I totally missed it because they don't show up in that particular feed that I look at.

Ashley: Dude. I'm such an asshole!
Friend: What did you do?
Ashley: I forgot so-so was on my friends list and therefore miss the birth of her kid.
Ashley: Missed*
Friend: Lol
Ashley: I congratulated her three weeks late.
Ashley: Asshole, much?
Friend: Lol
Ashley: So you concur?
Ashley: Lol
Friend: I never even congratulated her
Ashley: Wow.
Ashley: Wanna make a club?

It's sad and funny at the same time.

Weigh In #12!

2010-07-09T13:00:00.002-05:00

I realize I haven't really weighed in for a month now. Yeah, about that ...

I had a couple of rough weeks a couple of weeks ago and I pigged my little heart out. I'm so ashamed to have to admit that. Okay, not really, but that's what happened.

Hi, my name is Ashley and I'm an emotional eater.

As I was eating a lollipop the other day, my husband asked me, "You think that's a good snack for you?" His questioning was right. After all, I did ask him to help me with my mindless snacking that I do. This made me emotional {read : annoyed} so I proceeded to eat 5 more to show him who was boss. Did I mention those lollipops were 60 calories a piece? I essentially consumed a "meal" of lollipops. And let me tell you, although not nutritional, they were absolutely delicious!

In other news, did you hear LeBron James is going to Miami? Yeah, I really don't care either. I don't understand nor watch basketball. I think it goes back to the days of "middle school" {really, it was a k-8 grade school and yes, I ate with kindergarteners!} when I had this douche bag of a coach that I liked to call Coach Renadick. That wasn't his real name, I think it was Renick, but whatever, he was a total dick. all. the. time. Once when he introduced a student PE teacher I went "mmm" and he made me sit in the corner and then write a paper on "respect". Oh, and I was 12 at the time, so sitting in the corner did a lot for my coolness back in the day.

Anyhow, Coach Renadick made us play this stupid game of sideline basketball. He would divide the classes in half and we would all line up around the court and play four-on-four basketball for a minute. When you were finished, you'd go to the back of the line and await another turn. I freaking hated it. Most of the time I would just walk up and down the court for the full minute looking at my nonexistent nails. When I had first moved to TN a year prior and I entered the gym, he saw my height and he thought for sure he could get me to play basketball. So, one day, at the end of class he got everyone to stop and wanted me to shoot some hoops. I had refused adamantly, but the jerk didn't get the hint. I stepped up and threw an air ball on purpose-ish. He told me to shrug it off and try again and I threw another air ball on purpose-ish. He shook his head in the realization that I would not be his next basketball star. What I failed to tell him was I spent many summers in the NC State gym with their female basketball team, watching them and sometimes at the end they would coach me on shooting. Perks to your dad teaching ROTC down the hallway.

When it was time to say goodbye to Renadick, I took great lengths to get the best grade I could in his "class". The second half of my 8th grade year I managed to get a '32' on my report card and yes, that was out of 100. Now, that took some serious skill in getting that low of a grade. He threatened me that I wouldn't be able to go to high school the next year and that I would have to do all these papers to pull my grade up, along with sitting in the corner. Really? Because getting A's in all your other classes was going to prevent that dickhead. I told him that wasn't possibly because PE wasn't a real class and it would have no effect on my high school career. Just because I had such a real skill for PE, it would not effect my placement in high school classes. That really burned his nuggets because it was the truth.

The next year I wrote on a piece of paper that Coach Renadick was a hermaphrodite {actually I just wrote he was a herme, but I had to explain to him what that meant} which lead to some after-school detentions. You can read all about that here.

Anyhow, basketball isn't my game. Football season is a little less than two months away. College football that is. When it comes to the NFL, I still haven't come to terms with my favorite player from the Tennessee Titans going to the Detroit Lions. Although, my husband is REALLY happy that I'll finally be wearing a Lions jersey. FML.

Oh right, I need to weigh in. Well, if you made it through all of that, good job.

Today : 161.6
Last weigh in on June 8th : 161.2
Year to date lost : 10.4lbs

Wench.

2010-06-30T07:24:00.006-05:00

My husband has had so many pet names for me over the years that it is really hard to keep track of them all. Here are a couple ...

Seven - because I'm like the seven dwarfs, but the seven refers my moods : Sleepy, grumpy, happy, bitchy, punky, sweet and bi-polar. For the record, I'm not bi-polar but every 28 days, I get a nasty case of PMS.
Nun-buns - Because I have no ass as stated here.

Anyhow, most nicknames I receive are after I've done something worthy of needing a nickname apparently. Lately, my husband has been calling me 'wench'.

When I looked this up on my dictionary.com app on my phone it stated, "A girl or young woman." However, I knew there was more to it than just that. After reading that definition off to him, he's started to call me 'wench' more often ...

"Hey wench, grab me a Coke." {Actually a Coke here people. We refer to sodas by name rather than just 'coke' for everything.}
"You're a pretty wench."

Every time I tell him that it's a rather derogatory name, he'll fire back, "You looked up wench ... it means a girl or young woman!" So, I finally looked up other sites and their definitions of this word. And by other sites I mean Urban Dictionary.

1. wench 759 up, 139 down
buy wench mugs, tshirts and magnets
a dirty pirate hooker
Diana is a wench.......
whore pirate hooker prostitute ho dirty person
by twainlono Apr 6, 2006 share this
2. wench 478 up, 157 down
buy wench mugs, tshirts and magnets
A voluptuous female pirate type woman, usally with a firey attitude, and usually seen around taverns and bars, seaside fishing towns, and wherever pirates roam.
"Argg! That wench be as ugly as a fox!"

or

"I am a wench. Kiss me."
by Sara Raven May 24, 2004 share this
3. Wench 334 up, 117 down
buy wench mugs, tshirts and magnets
a beautiful women who engages particularly in duties concerning domestic affairs, kitchen cleaning, or ale serving

the object of a pirate's affection

usually found in sea faring ports, in the back of the kitchen scrubbing pots, passed out under a pirate ship's deck, or tending to the wash.
Yaaar!! Call over the tavern wench. Me ale bucket needs a filling. And while you're there, tell 'er that she should clean out the stain she left on my bed sheets last night. Arrrr!
by shawn Apr 8, 2005 share this

6.	wench	180 up, 98 down
	buy wench mugs, tshirts and magnets a slightly less offensive term similar in meaning to "bitch" "your'e such a fucking wench"

While my husband tells me he was definitely referring to definition #3, the 6th definition is the one that caught my eye. Oh and not to mention Merriam Webster's definition "a lewd woman : prostitute". Again, thanks babe.

After I brought all this to his attention, he reminded me of what I called him in my 21-22ndish week of pregnancy : C--kface.

I think these are our official names for our bowling shirts next year.

Whiteboard Love.

2010-06-29T10:25:00.000-05:00

My husband and I tend to have interesting conversations daily. (Examples here, here and here.) Anyhow, I have a whiteboard on my refrigerator that I write things that I'll need for my next shopping trip so that I won't forget prior to making a real list. Can you already see where this is going? If you guessed a 'random conversation on my whiteboard' than you are correct!

My kiddo tends to play with the dishes and utensils when I'm unloading the dishwasher. Well, he happened to break my cooking tongs. So, I wrote 'Tongs' on my board. I should have known better because a few days later when I went to write something else on there, a small 'h' had been inserted into tongs making it thongs.

I replied back with : Really? I'm not sure my butt cheeks eating a piece of fabric is THAT sexy! :) A few days later, while making my morning coffee, I see a little jewel written next to that. I laughed so hard I spit coffee.

Husband : Your butt has teeth!!!

I love him.

When I inquired as to why we are friends, he tells me : "Because we're married. I wouldn't be your friend if we weren't married."

He really knows the words that make me feel warm and fuzzy all over.

Menu Plan!

2010-06-28T15:48:00.002-05:00

Anyone tired of the recipe posts yet? Well, here's our menu for the week! I included my breakfast & lunch plans for Friday - Monday because the Fourth of July weekend is a four-day weekend for us military folks.

Dinners
Monday : Rocky Top Chicken sammiches w/parmesan noodles
Tuesday : Taco salad
Wednesday : Leftovers
Thursday : Cabbage roll casserole
Friday : Chicken pasta with garlic bread {yes, my famous chicken pasta!}
Saturday : Fish patties w/ mac&cheese
Sunday : Bratwursts {hotdog for the youngin'}, grilled corn on the cobb, hot German potato salad, watermelon & apple crisp for dessert

Breakfasts
Friday : Eggs 'n frame with sausage patties & orange slices
Saturday : Homemade waffles
Sunday : Blueberry coffee cake without the glaze
Monday : Oatmeal w/cinnamon apples

Lunches
Friday : Leftover casserole
Saturday : Leftover chicken pasta
Sunday : Sammiches of any kind
Monday : Hotdogs with mac 'n cheese

Pastor Ryan's Monkey Bread.

2010-06-26T08:18:00.001-05:00

This is from Pioneer Woman's website. I like to make it about once a month, but be forewarned - it can take a while possibly forever. It cooks for 30 to 40 minutes and then an additional 15-30 minutes to cool. FOREVER. Also, this is not good for you if you're on a diet.

Ingredients:

3 cans buttermilk biscuits {the non-flaky ones}

1 cup of sugar

2 teaspoons {to 3 teaspoons} cinnamon

2 sticks of butter {I think he's channeling Paula Deen}

1/2 cups brown sugar

Preheat oven to 350.

Open up all three cans of biscuits and cut each biscuit into quarters (4s)

Next, combine white sugar with 2 or 3 tsp {depending on how strong you want the flavor of cinnamon} in a 1 gal ziplock bag and shake to mix evenly.

Drop all of the biscuit quarters into the cinnamon-sugar mix. Give it a few vigorous shakes to evenly coat the biscuit quarters. Spread evenly in a bundt pan.

On med-high heat, melt two sticks of butter with brown sugar. Stir until the butter/sugar is one color and butter is completely melted. Pour it over the biscuits.

Bake for about 30-40 minutes until the crust is a deep dark brown to top. When its finished cooking, remove it from the oven. {If you have the willpower} let it cool for about 15-30 minutes before turning it over onto a plate.

Remember to move the cooking racks down in your oven prior to cooking.

Bisquick Chicken Tenders.

2010-06-26T08:09:00.001-05:00

Ingredients:

2/3 cup of Bisquick mix {I use the heart healthy kind}

1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese

1/4 tsp salt or garlic salt

1/2 tsp paprika

3 boneless chicken breast cut into 1/2 inch strips

1 egg, slightly beaten

3 tbsp butter, melted

1. Heat oven to 450. Line cookie sheet with foil and spray with cooking spray. Mix bisquick, cheese, salt and paprika in bag.

2. Dip half of the chicken strips in egg mixture; place in bag of bisquick mixture. Seal and shake bag to coat. Place chicken on cookie sheet. Repeat with remaining chicken. Now, you can either drizzle the melted butter over the chicken or get a basting brush and brush the butter over. I brush the butter over because I think it coats bettter.

3. Bake 12 to 14 minutes, turning after 6-7 minutes with pancake turner, until no longer pink in center.

Taco Ring.

2010-06-23T12:39:00.002-05:00

This has to be one of my all-time favorite recipes. My mom first started making this recipe when she was a Pampered Chef consultant. She would try out new recipes on us picky eaters and go from there. I'm pretty sure this was a hit 14 years ago, because we are still making and eating it.

Ingredients:

1 lb hamburger {I use very lean hamburger}

1 packet of taco seasoning

2 cans of croissant rolls

All your taco toppings : 1-2 cups cheese {I usually buy the Mexican blend shredded cheese}, diced tomatoes, diced onions, lettuce, guacamole, sour cream, etc.

Optional : Minced garlic

Directions :

1. You're going to first brown your hamburger. Drain and return to pan and add taco seasoning and cook according to directions on back of taco seasoning packet. I like to also add a clove or two of garlic. After simmering meat, garlic and taco seasoning for 5 minutes {or however long your taco seasoning packet states}, remove from heat and let cool. You can also add some the shredded cheese to the meat while it cooks. I sometimes do this.
2. Preheat oven to 350.
3. Unroll croissant rolls on a circular stone/baking sheet. Arrange with wide ends in the middle and the "tails" hanging over the edge like so :

Your croissant "ring" should look like this when completely finished. Sometimes I have one or two croissant rolls left over. I just roll them up like normal and put them in the middle of the ring and let them bake like normal.

Next, you're going to put about a tablespoon of the seasoned hamburger on the wide ends of the rolls, like so :

Now you're going to take the skinny end of the croissant roll and fold them over the meat mixture :

Should look like this when you're finished :

Finally, bake for 20 minutes at 350 or until rolls are golden brown and smelling delicious!

We just cut this up and top it with our favorite taco toppings!

--I like to let the meat cool about 5-10 minutes prior to putting the it on the unbaked croissant rolls because if not, the bottom of the roll will be soggy and not cook properly.

Pepperoni Pizza Rolls.

2010-06-21T18:04:00.000-05:00

This is can be made as an appetizer or as a dinner.

Ingredients:

2 cans of croissant rolls

Pepperoni

Mozzarella cheese

Pizza sauce

Unroll croissant rolls, place a little bit of cheese and about three pepperonis on the wide end of the roll. Roll up the croissant and bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes. I never set the timer for these. I just periodically check on them and pull them out when they are golden brown.

Generally while they're cooking, I'll open up a can of pizza sauce and warm it up on the stove. I usually add some oregano and some fresh minced garlic {about 1/2 tbsp}. I'll let that cook on very low while the pizza rolls cook.

You can either pour the sauce over the rolls or use it as a dipping condiment. Either way works.

One Hand On The Steering Wheel ...

2010-06-21T09:44:00.000-05:00

And the other is flipping us all off. Or at least me. Let me explain ...

My apartment complex is borderline crappy. The fact that there is limited places to live in this area allows this particular place to pretty much do what they want. They raise the rent on you every six months, they change the 30-day filters once every three months, they "spray" for pest only in your hallway and the assholes that they hired to do lawn care start mowing at 6:30 in the morning on Mondays.

My friend on Facebook said, "They might as well be flipping you off." So true. So very, very true. It's as if they have one hand on the steering wheel and the other one is flipping us all off. I have come to despise Mondays for the simple fact that the mowing of the lawns at 6:30 in the morning is probably the rudest way to officially start a work week.

So, when one of the managers stopped in to "spray" for pest in the hallway {what the eff?} and replace my 30-day filter {which I go and buy a new one for the other two months}, I asked, "Are you aware of how early they mow the lawns on Mondays?"

Manager : "I know they start a little early in the summer months because it gets hot."
Me : "A little early?"
Manager : "I know that because of the heat, they like to start a little bit earlier."
Me : "Well, they're starting to mow at 6:30. Do you not think that's a little too early to be out mowing? I realize that majority of this complex is military and are gone at that time, but there are some of us that do not get up that early .... like my 2-year old son."
Manager : "Well, I'll speak with so-in-so about it."

That is loosely translated as : "Well, you're locked into a lease for the next 10 months {I signed a new one before they started the 6:30 wake up calls} and you will live here and deal with what we want to do when we want to do it because you have no other choice. "

I'm pretty sure there will be a flaming bag of dog shit on her stoop in the coming days. Actually, I'm positive that there will be. You're welcome, cupcake.

Pulled Pork Sammiches.

2010-06-20T14:03:00.002-05:00

I like simple meals. I like when those really, really simple meals take minutes to prepare. I especially love my crock-pot. You with me? This recipe takes about 2 or so minutes to prepare. Depending on how long it takes you to pull everything out of the fridge/pantry.

Welcome to the easiest recipe, ever. Seriously, its fail proof.
If you happen to mess this up, then I'm pretty sure there is no hope for you as a human being.

Ingredients :

Pork shoulder {I go for about 3-5lbs}

Big bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce
Pack of buns

Optional : Onions, herbs, spices, etc.

I usually will slice an onion up into big chunks and layer it on the bottom of my crock-pot so that the meat doesn't stick or burn to it. I'll then put the pork shoulder on top of it and from there, I slather that baby in my favorite BBQ sauce. Put the lid on and let cook.

That is it. See the simplicity in that?

Cook for 8ish hours on low.
I'll then pull the pork shoulder out and use two forks to shred it. I serve the shredded pork on warmed buns and with seasoned frenchie fries. Loves it! My husband likes the flavor cooked into it so he usually adds no additional toppings. I, being from the South, put additional BBQ sauce on it. Nothing taste like fatness like BBQ sauce. We use Sweet Baby Ray's because we're biased and think nothing taste better on pork. Or, like we did tonight, you can take some of the juice in the crock pot and drizzle it over the shredded meat and mix it up. No extra bbq sauce required when you do that :)

Seriously this is the simplest and most delicious recipe, ever.

So, Today Is Father's Day.

2010-06-20T13:08:00.003-05:00

As a child, I grew up loving this day. Okay, really as a child I had no concept of what this day really meant. But as I grew into a teenager, I began to understand that on this day we celebrate all the things that our dad does for us. It should be something celebrated daily, but on Father's Day tenfold.

Today, however, is just another reminder of what divorce has done to my family. Today, I'm feeling rather bitter and while I try and block the last 9 months from my mind and celebrate this for my husband, I cannot help but to feel a sense of aggravation and bit of emptiness to know that this divorce not only changed the dynamic of the family I came from and grew up with, but it's also changed the person that my dad now is. Sigh.

The child in me doesn't want to acknowledge that everything has changed. She wants the ability to call her dad and know that he'll answer on the second ring to answer all of her questions on life. To hear his voice give a constant reassurance that the decisions she's making are the right ones. She wants to sit in silence and watch a baseball game with him in the laziness of an afternoon. That little girl wants to be riding around in the big ole truck, smacking her lips to black jack gum and listening to AC/DC. That little girl wants and still needs her daddy.

The grown woman that I am understands and is growing into a patience of realizing that her father may take a week to return a call or text. She realizes that there is confidence in herself for the decisions she makes. She sits in silence and drinks her coffee in the mornings or cleans the house and prepares things for dinner during nap time. She drives her car around during the days listening to the chatter and giggles coming from the back seat. That woman appreciates the things her father instilled in her, smiles when she thinks of him and goes on with her day.

Happy Father's Day to all.

First Vloggy!

2010-06-14T07:00:00.003-05:00

First up, my dear friend Sexy aka Lindsey is deserving of a shout out! She gave birth to her second baby yesterday. Sexy's son is three days older than Babe and now the big brother to a little sister! Congrats on your family of four, friend!

So ... without further ado, here's my first vlog! Please don't mind the "I'm so hood" face I'm making in the picture that they picked for the beginning of the video. My winner of my awesome $20 giveaway is stated at the end of the video. Dear winner : please send me your information at ashley.amazing@live.com!

Thanks for watching and thank you very much for everyone who submitted me questions, even if I didn't get to them! Who the heck wants to watch a 15 minute video? Yeah, not this gal.

Weigh In #8!

2010-06-11T10:00:00.001-05:00

This was a bad week. I knew it was going to bad week because I woke up with a pimple the size of a dime on each cheek a couple of days ago. Oh and a really, really obviously one that I couldn't hide so well right under my nose. WORST. AREA. EVER. to get a damn pimple. WTF?! Hello, Aunt Flo! She's a real bitch, by the way. Anyhow, I totally gave into every craving of McDonalds I wanted along with chocolate covered pretzels, milk duds, popcorn, chocolate covered raisins, lollipops, etc. Yeah, I couldn't resist and a part of me didn't want to. So, when I stepped on the scale, I knew that it wasn't going to be pretty and that to number was going to go up. Eh, I'm human and a woman so ... anyhow ...

Last week's weigh in : 159.6
Today : 161.2
Pounds gained this week : +1.6
Total loss since Jan 01, 2010 : 10.8

Yeah, that sucks but oh well. I'll be working on that this week!

First Vlog, First Giveaway & Menu Plan!

2010-06-07T11:41:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone! So, I'm wanting to do my first vlog {video blog!} but really had no clue as to what to do. That's when my dear bloggy friend, Nicole, suggested that I have all of you post questions for me to answer! The best part of that is, I'll randomly pick a question and that person will receive a $20 gift card to anywhere of their choosing or maybe just $20. Its like a birthday card with money, minus the birthday card. Every question counts as an "entry" ... so ask away! You have until Thursday night, June 10th, to get your questions in! Also, you can ask me anything. Just because I posted a menu plan doesn't mean you have to ask me food related questions. You ask me stuff about my husband, how smart I am, what nail polish color I love for the summer ... blah blah. I just want to hear myself talk about ME! ;)

It's been a really, really long time since I've posted one of my menu plans ... so here goes :

Monday : Uh-maze ball subs

Tuesday : Chicken tacos with homemade guacamole and Spanish rice

Wednesday : Shrimp pasta with honey sticky rolls

Thursday : Chicken pineapple stir-fry

Friday : Homemade pizza with breadsticks

Saturday : Grilled burgers with corn on the cob and watermelon

Sunday : Chicken parmesan with homemade garlic toast

Weigh In #4-7!

2010-06-04T09:31:00.000-05:00

Some of you may have noticed I have not posted a weekly weigh in blog in a while ... um, as in a month? Yeah, sorry about that. I was in Tennessee for almost the entire month of May and last week, I was just being lazy and didn't post. I'll try to be more prompt with my weigh-ins from now on!

Without further ado

Last weigh in recorded : 160.2
Today : 159.6
Pounds lost this week : -0.6
Total loss since Jan 01, 2010 : -12.4

Thank God It's June!

2010-06-01T14:22:00.001-05:00

Seriously, May was the worst month ever. I'm pretty sure it's on my history book as the most stressful month of my life. Yesterday I finally was able to breathe a sign of relief when I knew that the moment I woke up today, that it would be a new month. And guess what? Well, it's not really a guess, but it's finally June!

And here are the reasons why this month will most definitely make up for May :

1. Whale Wars. Have you ever watched this show? I think it's amazing. Sure, the tactics used are a bit extreme for the fact that they're just trying to save whales, but it's more than that. They're bringing light to the situation that there is a country out there slaughtering whales in the name of "research" only so that they can maintain their diets on the whale meat. Because it's known that they cannot just throw the meat away, as it has to be used or their "research" isn't allowed. Hmpf. Whatever. The husband said I can apply for the Sea Shepherds in 2014. Here's to hoping the world doesn't end in 2012!

2. Lie To Me. This show is serious love. End of story :)

3. Toy Story 3. Only THE best Disney/Pixar movie EVER. I've been anticipating this movie since last year and I will push down little kids to get in the theater for this.

I'm sure there will be many more reasons that this month is great, but nothing can really top today's events. Fourteen months ago, the promotion list came out. My husband and I had talked about it only being a couple of months until he was promoted, since he had a low sequence number of 16. We had talked about June or July of 2009. What we didn't know was that June or July would be THE NEXT FREAKING YEAR. Today, the husby was promoted! I guess what made this day even more sweet was that it was the first time that I had ever been with him when he was promoted. The first time, I was just a girlfriend so they didn't think it was important to notify me. The second time, he was deployed - yeah, definitely not going to be able to be there for that one. Today, not only was I able to be there but our son put his new rank on his daddy.

Babe & Mr. Amazing

Yeah, so happy it's finally June!

May, I'm Almost Done With You.

2010-05-26T14:13:00.000-05:00

I've never, in my life, been more excited to close a "chapter" and that chapter being May. This month has been so emotionally draining that at one point, I was pretty sure it was going to swallow me whole. A whole slew of things happened within a few weeks of each other and let's just say, I was more than overwhelmed. I've never been the type of person that has been able to really handle stress very well.

Never.

I guess I really missed out on something by not experiencing much stress in my earlier years, because now as an adult, I completely shut down when something slightly overwhelming happens. That, or I become a raging bitch that no one wants to be around. Eh, you win some, you lose some. But, I've been trying.

Anyhow, like I said, the month of May completely shut me down. There was one highlight this month, but I cannot share that for now as it hasn't happened just yet. But we're {thisclose} to it :) The last couple of days, I've really felt like I'm going through the motions of life, that I'm just existing. My husband has been ~~pestering~~ asking me what's up with my punky attitude, but all I can give him is the age-old, "Nothing." How do you put into words that you just aren't feeling much of anything for anything? It's an overwhelming sense of apathetic.

Sorry, I've been MIA for the month - it's just been one of those days that turned into weeks and officially turned into the whole damn month of May. I've come to the conclusion that May is just a big whore who likes to screw around on me. But that would make me a lesbian, no? Okay, she's just a sucky friend. That's a bit better of an analogy. I'm sure all of you can relate to how sucky, toxic friends literally drain you. May has definitely been that for me.

But June is already looking up and I'm ready to start the month afresh. June, don't fail me now.

Some Hurts Just Cannot Be Repaired.

2010-05-15T21:58:00.000-05:00

There are some hurts that you don't know of that run so deep and you're only made aware of them when the right, or rather wrong, words are spoken. And once they do, that hurt opens up a rift that runs from your heart to the very core of your soul.

A while back, I realized that I have really high expectations of the people in my life. I always thought that I should be given back what I give others. Since this realization, I've tried to accept people for who they are rather than get angry about who they are not and who they will never be. With that, I've had to make the decision as to whether I'm going to support what they lack and/or ignore what they will never be.

Today I was made painfully aware of a hurt that runs so deep that there is just no way to ever repair it. For years now, I've been putting a bandaid on a situation that no matter how much I nurture or even ignore it, there's nothing that will ever make it better. As a person, I feel like I've given and given to certain people in my life, just hoping that they'll give me 1/10th of what I give them back. The fact is, they haven't and they will never be capable of it. I realized that I needed to either make the decision that it was okay that I was being treated like this or stand my ground and say enough is enough.

I decided to stand my ground today. A part of me is sad, but in reality there is little to no benefit to continue this small path of hurt in my life. Every time I try to feel the sadness of the reality of the situation, I keep replaying the words over and over in my mind. I'm not sure where this person or I go from here, because there just isn't anything that can be said nor done that can repair this situation. It was literally that last event in a series of events of a longterm hurt. Even receiving an "I'm sorry" has no effect on me. I feel ... nothing.

I know that there will be mutual people in both of our lives that feel like I'm a bad guy for doing this and that I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. For those people - you need to look at both sides and realize that this wasn't a decision made on a whim, but rather a decision based upon years and years of being hurt and sweeping it under the rug. I have ignored my own pain because I didn't want another to feel bad for what they lacked. I've swallowed a lot of hurt and I'm just done. I'm not asking for you to side with me, much less agree with me. I'm just asking that my decision be respected and to leave me be on it.

It feels a little good to get these feelings out after a very long and emotional day. The first half of this month has been hell, but I'm determined to not allow it to continue. When you're this low, the only place is to go up. Cliche, but so true.

Weigh In #3.

2010-05-07T13:55:00.000-05:00

Today's weigh in and next week's weigh in are unknown due to me being in Tennessee for the next week or so. Although my mom has a scale at her house, it's not my scale and it doesn't weigh to the tenth of a pound like my own.

Last week : 160.2
This week : ---
Pounds lost this week : ---
Total loss since Jan 01, 2010 : -11.8

I'm In Hickville.

2010-05-05T16:25:00.001-05:00

After receiving a phone call from my property manager about my tenants experiencing a leak from all the devastating rains they got this past weekend in Tennessee, I knew instead of my mom coming down to spend a couple of days with us in Louisiana, that I needed to be here to take care of the few projects that we've attempted to arrange over the phone. Man, how long of a sentence was that? So, in a matter of 5 minutes on Sunday afternoon, I decided to pack up our little man, our dog and myself and make the 11ish hour journey from Mulletville to Hickville Monday morning. The car ride was uneventful, but we had to drive an hour out of our way because the river that I normal cross via a ferry was closed. Blah.

As soon as I passed my alma mater {aka Hickville County High School}, I felt this bliss settle over me. As much as I tend to hate this place for the closed-minded people born and raised here, I also know that this was "home". We're staying with my mom in what used to be my parents' house but is now my mom's house and boy, has she made a serious transformation with the decor. It went from a country cedar siding cabin to a sophisticated palette of colors and art. Seriously, my dad would of rolled his eyes at the art that my mom has placed on the walls - but I find it to be lovely. As always, there's some slight reservations about the uncertainty of how I'm going to feel being in my "childhood home" without my dad, but honestly, although the bones of the home are the same, the walls are such a different shade that it doesn't matter all that much to me anymore. I recognize this house as my mom's house now because to be truthful, every design aspect has her name all over it - even when they were made with my dad living here.

Even though I drove 12&1/2 hours on five hours of sleep, almost peed all over myself in the car because Babe was finally taking a nap {after being up since 5a} and I wasn't stupid enough to wake him and AND an hour detour, I stayed up and talking to my mom until 2 in the morning to catch up on life. Even though this used to be my parents' home, I'm pretty thankful that I can now snuggle up next to my mom in bed and have her rub my head as I recount the world's woes.

Yesterday, I snapped these pictures of my mom and kidlet. You see her tan? I've tried to talk to her about skin cancer and wrinkles and the fact that most beds, even when cleaned, have poo residue on them - but she doesn't listen to me. Sigh, mothers.

P.S. I'm glad to add that my mom's internet is not as slow as a turtle!

Quick Post!

2010-05-02T22:25:00.000-05:00

Hey ladies! I'm having to make an impromptu trip out of Mulletville for the next week or so and heading back up to Tennessee to check on our property after they received flooding rains. I'm crossing my fingers that there is not a lot of damage, but to be on the safe side - I've decided it's best I go check on things myself. Yay for 12 hours in a car tomorrow with my awesome co-pilot Babe and his bff, Diesel.

So, to all my new followers and anyone who comments - give me some time and I will get back with all of you lovely ladies. Hopefully my mom's internet connection is running faster than a turtle.

Weigh In #2.

2010-05-01T16:23:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was weigh in number two since announcing on here about me making over my life and the lives of my family, but because I wanted to participate in the MilSpouse blog hop, I decided to just post it today. I think the biggest change I've seen in the past few months is that my clothes that were really snug at the beginning of the year, and even at the end of February, are fitting like a glove. Every time I wear something that didn't fit a few months ago, I feel a bit of a reward! What exactly am I doing? The b.o.r.i.n.g. process of eating better and exercising. And not to mention, it's hard work! It's hard work to continually do something that you know is going to be better for you in the long run, but takes some serious effort and time to get where you want to be.

Last week : 160.6
This week : 160.2
Pounds lost this week : -0.4
Total loss since Jan 01, 2010 : 11.8

ARGH! I was so looking forward to being out of the 160s! But next week ... next week I'll be out of the 160s for sure. And next week I won't have any more physical therapy appointments to interfere with my workout routine.

Also - yay for May!

MilSpouse Blog Hop!

2010-04-30T08:50:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone joining in on the MilSpouse Blog Hop at Riding the Roller Coaster! My name is Ashley, I'm a 20-something year old wife and mother. My husband, Mr. Amazing, is currently serving in the US Army. We're stationed in Mulletville with our very energetic {and sometimes cranky} two year old, Babe. Right now, I'm in the process of going back to school for my nursing degree. I hope to either become an ER nurse or a flight nurse. We're pretty undecided on whether or not we will have more children, as we are 100% content on our family of three. My husband is original from Michigan and has changed my entire view on Yankees. Even though I was born and raised in the South, I count the days until we can retire in Michigan and live out our days there. I love my life.

Our first homecoming ceremony in 2006

My blog is a mixture of humbleness, rolling through the punches that life is currently throwing our way, surviving in Mulletville, sarcasm and some occasional neighbor stalking rants. Welcome to my blog!

Things That I'm Learning In Louisiana.

2010-04-29T20:45:00.002-05:00

Ever since we moved to Louisiana, I've been slowly trying to understand the way of life down here. Trust me, it's a daily struggle to think below my intelligence level in this town. Anyhow, I've come to the conclusion that I need to share the insights of this world with everyone. So, welcome to the new series of things that I'm learning in Louisiana.

Tonight's lesson is : Do not tell people that you can read, it will only insult them.

I realized as I was grabbing the ingredients I needed to make dinner that I was out of aluminum foil, so I headed down to the Dollar General near my house. {By the way, this place is littered with DGs.} As I was checking out, I noticed a sign that said, "When using this type of card : Debit ONLY". So, when I went to pay, I pressed 'debit' because you know, I was using that type of card and can read. I'm not sure what happened, as the cashier's machine was not showing her anything, so she asks me, "You didn't use credit did you? Because you need to use debit when using that card." After hearing her stress the word 'need' I looked at her and said, "No, I used debit. I read the sign."

She just stood there and looked at me for a second and said, "I was making sure you didn't use credit, because with that particular card you cannot use it." I then pointed to the sign and said again, "I read the sign." Her demeanor and attitude changed towards me, like I had slapped her across the face somehow.

Tonight I learned : Reading a sign, even if posted right next to the machine, is an insult to one's intelligence in this town.

Pillow Talk.

2010-04-28T15:04:00.004-05:00

My husband and I attempt to go to bed at the same time every night. Even if one of us is not tired, we'll go lie down with one another and chat for 15 or so minutes before the other one goes to sleep. I love this time of night because we always tend to have the most interesting conversations ... like last night.

A month ago, I wrote about the tragic end of my BlackBerry. {Only 5 months and 3 days until I'm reunited with a phone that I love so much.} I'm pretty sure my current phone was not feeling the love and became overly depressed. It's the only thing that explains the fact that it just died on me last night. Literally, it just died. It was working when I used it at 7:33pm on my way on from the gym and then again to read a text message around 9ish. When my husband and I were headed to bed, I grabbed it to set my alarm and it would not turn on. I plugged it in thinking that the battery was just really dead ... nope, nothing. UGH!

This ordeal was followed by an angry rant of mine. Mr. Amazing and I climbed into bed, me still ranting and he turns to me and says :

"You're not as pretty as you used to be when you're angry. You used to be cute when you were angry. Now, you just look mean."

Really? So, because I'm a woman I interpret this and say, "So you're saying that 6 years ago I was pretty and now you cannot stand to look at me?"

Mr : "I'm just saying that you used to be really cute when you got annoyed about something. Now, when you get upset, you look mean."
Me : "I'm upset all the time, so you're saying that you can't stand to look at me? FML."
Mr : -laughing- "Shut the eff up."
Me : "Wow. FML."

We laughed for a good five minutes about this and I told him I was posting it on here. If you ever want to score with your wife, tell her she's ugly. It's awesome.

Oh, Dora.

2010-04-26T15:36:00.005-05:00

Today was the most awesomest day of the year. You know, the day that is better than a birthday, a holiday, an anniversary and even Thanksgiving and Christmas. Today was the yearly pap. Seriously, my favorite day of the year. I mean, what screams absolute awkwardness other than someone checking out your vagina? And everyone knows how much I love to bring on the awkwardness. I made sure to *ahem* to get ready for today. I even wore an awesome pair of knee-high socks as per my tradition to give the doctor something else to talk about other than what is happening at that moment. I would like to say that I lie there and think about Eric Bana, but generally I'm making a mental to do list of the things I need to finish for the day.

The lady that checked me in and led me to my room apparently mentioned that my doctor would be speaking with me prior to the procedure. After waiting, um .. 10 minutes I figured that she misspoke and they were actually waiting for me to signal to them that I was disrobed and ready for the party to start. So, I walked behind the dressing curtain, took off my shoes and just got my pants off when the assistant knocked and walked right back in. I rush casually put my pants back on and she goes, "Oh! I thought I mentioned she was going to speak with you first? Maybe not." Hello, awkwardness. She walks back out and as I'm waiting, I text my bestie, Sarah, "Paps are the highlight of my life." "It's like how many people can you cram into a room to have a party at your vagina?"

One of the worst parts about this whole process is that my doctor is so pretty. I hate that. I want an extremely average/overweight woman who has some sort of giant mole on her face to do this procedure. Yes, people, I can be that shallow. But no, my doctor looks like she was in the Miss America pageant who only competed for school money. So I continue to text Sarah telling her how I wished she looked like one or two people we knew from our past, because both of them fit the above mentioned appearance and they both were stinky in their own way. Gosh, that's really a bitchy thing to say but it's the truth. I'm not sure how two grown women could smell so bad in their own way, it's beyond me. I get not liking to take a shower as a kid, but as an adult? How do you not take a shower as an adult? I get that one girl had cats who probably peed on her clothing as a source of a "clean spot" in her messy house ... Sorry, totally off subject.

I love military/gov't hospitals. Everyone who was so excited about the health care bill - wait until you see how cheap our gov't can be when it comes to certain things like paps. You're asked to disrobe and they give you a giant sheet that resembles a napkin and a "top" that has the texture of a paper towels. That really feels awesome on the bare "ladies". How hard is it give us a blanket/towel to lay over our laps and a patient's gown? Apparently, it cost too much to wash those sort of things. So, Doc Barbie goes through the whole procedure and yadda yadda. The best part of this whole thing had to be my room though. I was put in a room that obviously sees kids as well. So during my entire pap exam while I was trying to think of Eric Bana but really making a to do list, I was looking at Dora the Explorer wall clings. I feel a little exploited and will never be able to watch that show again.

Thank God that this thing is only a once a year shindig.

I Hear It && Feel Like I Can't Breathe.

2010-04-24T10:03:00.001-05:00

Have you ever heard a song that immediately makes your chest tight and as you attempt to sing along, the lump in your throat gets tighter and tighter until you can't breathe? There are a few songs that do this to me every. single. time. Some of those songs feel a little cliche, but eh - when you can relate, you just relate.

Over the last few days while I've been driving back and forth from physical therapy, I've heard a song that has done just that to me. For some reason, I get to the second versus and I feel those tears on the brink, ready to overflow at any moment. I choke them back and continue to just listen to the song.

I think this has to do with the fact I haven't seen our families since Christmas, 4 months ago. I'm not used to going that long between visits with my family nor my husband's family who lived a little over eight hours away. I miss my home that I grew up in. I miss the family gatherings of shared laughter, stupid petty fights and all the things in between. Yeah, this song most definitely speaks to me. Sigh.

Weigh In Numero Uno.

2010-04-23T20:33:00.001-05:00

I decided when I wrote my previous post that I would start posting my weekly weigh ins on my blog. At first, I didn't even want to write a post about the weight I had gained in the year that we have lived here. Honestly, I think it comes from a place of embarrassment to have done so well a year and a half go versus now. In reality, though, a lot has happened in that time. Moving and the big d-word are probably to two greatest attributes to it all. Not to mention the fact that I can get lazy. Yeah, that definitely contributes to this weight gain madness.

But after several weeks of pizza and sour patch kids, I've said "no" to both cravings all week long. Even tonight when all I can think about are those damn sour patch kidlets. I almost broke down to go buy them tonight. I had my shoes on and was ready to hit the store to go pick up a 5lb bag, but I decided to settle in and eat some of my favorite cereal instead.

I weigh myself first thing Friday morning after I've been up and about for 5 minutes. Enough time to start my breakfast and morning cup of coffee.

Last week : 162
Today : 160.6
Loss of : -1.4 pounds

Also, I've decided to have a separate, daily weight loss blog. I didn't want to take up a lot of my blog here on just weight loss and working out. I figure if you wanted to follow that, you're welcome to. I'll link it up at the top when I get it up and running. I plan to still post my weigh in summaries and things that I have done/learned this week.

Anyone else excited for the weekend? I feel like this week has lasted forever.

Tuesday's Truth Be Told : I'm On A Lifestyle Makeover-ish - Part I.

2010-04-20T06:30:00.001-05:00

I think I'm going to start a 'Tuesday's Truth Be Told' series where I tell you something about myself. These are the brilliant ideas that I come up with when I'm laying in the dark with a heat wrap on my back for about 15-20 minutes. You're not allowed to have your cell phone on while there because "they might interfere with the machines" as per the sign that's on the door that I didn't notice on my initial consult. Maybe that's why he was being such a stiff, because he's not like that now. Who knows? No cell phone means no communicating like I did during that first visit. Which really doesn't matter because my phone, with all it's bells and whistles, bit the dust a few weeks ago {almost down to 5 months!}.

Anyhoo, this is the first one ... so you know, ignore the intro and the slight rambling above.

Truth be told, I'm a lifestyle makeover-ish.

Two years ago, I started myself on a journey to get rid of 70-very unwanted-pounds. I was miserable at 220. Granted, I was in my 9th month of pregnancy and so ready to have my Mr. Babe, but still, I was miserable. I remember the day that I officially outweighed my husband. I cried. I just sat in bed and mourned like I had died. I think a little part of me did die from the embarrassment of outweighing him. When I finally tipped the scales at 200 lbs {and beyond} it was a 'what the fuckever' moment for me. I already outweighed my husband, so what's being 200 lbs? Seriously, I just brushed it off in that moment but it was hard on me. I tried my hardest to not to think too much about it. Over the course of 8 months {April 2008 to December 2008} I lost those 7o lbs. Forty-two pounds from the pregnancy and another 28 lbs from life prior to that. I not only lost that 70lbs, I lost an additional 2. I definitely felt on top of the world.

I was able to keep the weight off for a few months, going between 148 and 153 for about 6-7 months. Finally, life started settling in again and before I knew it, a pound here and a pound there and I was up to 161. I hovered there for a really long time, until that faithful trip to see my parents together for the last time. By the time I got home, I was back down in the 150s and stabling out at about 155 until late November when I just started eating again to numb the pain that I knew was going to come with the holidays. It was my first Thanksgiving away from my family in my entire life. And I knew that my family back home wasn't together either. It broke my heart just a bit. By the time we traveled back to Tennessee for the Christmas holiday, I was already back up to 164. But it didn't stop there. I remember just hurting. Every time I looked around while I was home, I felt this big hole. Although my husband, mom, siblings, niece and my brother's boyfriend helped to make the best of the situation something always felt a little off. From Tennessee we headed up to spend time with my husband's family.

While in Michigan, I remember my pants feeling tighter and tighter. These were already considered my 'fat pants'. I knew what I needed to do and I felt embarrassed and a bit shamed that I was about to be right back where I was in early 2007. But I checked my pride at the door and went shopping with my amazing mother-in-law and bought a new pair of fat pants to take the place of my former fat pants. Sad day, people ... very sad day. I was anxious to get home to Louisiana to step on the scale and see how much I had gained over the Christmas/New Year holidays. I knew I had gained some weight over the holidays. Hello?! My fat pants were tight on me and I had to buy new ones! *Drumroll please* .... I weighed in at 172! My jaw dropped. In a very short couple of weeks I gained 8 lbs! Stop the press. No really, stop the mother effin' press on that crap. That means, a year after I lost 72 pounds, I regained back 24 pounds and in a relatively short time frame. That's some scary stuff.

Like a lot of other people, I vowed that this new year would be different and that I would set a goal and I would stick to it, and I have sorta-ish. I say sorta-ish because since that fateful day in January, I have lost 10 lbs through diet and exercise. You know, the healthy, boring way that is always recommended to you. The need to lose weight was confirmed by my doctor when she told me that I needed to get the extra weight off my back to help my back problems that I've visiting the aforementioned physical therapist for.

However, since I've lost the 10 pounds, I've have stalled out for a few reasons. Busy spring schedules, doctor visits and numerous visits to the physical therapist throughout the week. I'm pooped people! For the past two weeks I've just been sitting here at 162 twiddling my thumbs when it dawned on me that although I was exercising like a champ {or rather how I should be and how I know I'm capable of} my diet has never really on-par with my workout regime. That's why in almost four months I've only lost 10 lbs. I have an addiction to pizza and sour patch kids. No seriously. That's been the hold up on my diet. I do grab an occasional burger every other week or so, but nothing diet busting. Is that sad that I'm that over the top about pizza and sour patch kids? Addiction people.

So, truth be told people I'm still in the process of trying to transform my life and my family's lives. I've decided to post this and keep you update throughout the process of me getting down to my goal weight and maintaining. This is why this particular post is labeled 'Part I' because there's definitely going to be several more parts!

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	buy wench mugs, tshirts and magnets A voluptuous female pirate type woman, usally with a firey attitude, and usually seen around taverns and bars, seaside fishing towns, and wherever pirates roam. "Argg! That wench be as ugly as a fox!" or "I am a wench. Kiss me." by Sara Raven May 24, 2004 share this
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