Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness.

Tonight we started a bible study at my church for military wives and the wonderful, sweet, and kind lady that is leading us through this study said that her and her husband prayed about a word to describe their deployment. Something that they felt that God wanted them to focus on.  I think my word is 'forgiveness' as it's something I have a very hard time doing for others and myself.

A lot of times, I harp on myself for past mistakes.  Things that I made very poor choices in.  I also find a very hard time to let people back in after they've wounded me in a certain way or forgiveness for them being human.  Forgiveness is not something that comes easily for me. Even the smallest things, sometimes I cannot overlook them.  I know this is a true fault of mine; a real weakness to my character.

For a very, very long time I have let my walk with God take a backseat to my life that I'm living. Since opening myself back up to a relationship with Him, I have found that things are starting to fall back into place. Things make sense again and instead of feeling overwhelmed when the world comes crumbling down, I look inward and I rely on my relationship with Him to pull me through what it is that is overwhelming me. It's sad to say that it truly took my world crashing down on me to realize that, as it should not take that to make right with God and your path that you're walking with Him in your life.

I'm rambling. I just needed to get these words out of my head.
Also, I'm not sure I'm back-back, something that I know my mom would love, but maybe I am.

4 comments:

Lin said...

I really hope you're back-back :)

Sadly I've let religion take a back seat to my life. I dont know exactly when it happened but I started to question everything, maybe it's a part of the cycle but I'm sure it'll all work out much like it did for you. I'm glad you're well & things are falling into place for you, you deserve it.

Come back & blog every now & then, even if it's just to rant...I miss you :)

Jessica said...

I hope you are back!

I need to get better about my relationship with God. I NEED it. I know I do.

Nicole said...

Me too! I hope so too!

Forgiveness is the roughest part of my existence! I have been hurt bad & I know I need to forgive but I just can't...I've been heading to church too, so I pray I can get some help with all that!

Crista said...

That was my problem as well..when I got back with PWOC my life is still not as happy as I'd like it to be but its much better than I was before. Since my divorce I have really looked back at my life and the things I have done, things I should have done, things I shouldn't have done, and now am improving my life. Sometimes I feel like its too late but I know that God will still give me enough time to make up for those times I screwed up. I am taking a bible study called "Lord change my attitude before its too late" and its really opened my eyes to things. I hope that we both accomplish our goals and our relationship with God because I know we both need good spiritual advice! :)